"CONNECTED FOR LIFE"

[Letha Robinson]

Do you find yourself pulling away from others, especially if you've
experienced a crisis or deep disappointment? Maybe the most
difficult thing we can do is to be with people when we don't feel
like being around anybody. We need other people and we'll never
thrive as human beings in isolation.

One woman likes to say, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry
and you cry with your girlfriends." The presumption is that men are
not empathetic, and there is probably some truth there.

But I meet with a small group of men that challenge that assertion.
We meet for one reason only - to support each other in our life
journeys. We ask embarrassing questions like, "How is it with your
soul?" And, "How are you REALLY doing?" We try to answer honestly
and to share what is good in our lives, but also relate what is not
going well. Where possible, we try to admit our failings in a
situation as well as what we think we may be doing right. We use
each other for a reality check, for support and, of course, for
friendship.

It's the only group in my life where I can be totally honest and
know that they will accept me anyway. We meet only to listen to each
other, support one another and, if need be, to occasionally
challenge one another. The point is - we need each other.

A man who lost his wife to cancer found himself wanting to be alone.
In time he dropped out of his worshiping community and curtailed
all of the activities he and his wife had shared for so many years.
He increasingly kept to himself. He quit socializing at work and
returned straight home to an empty house. He turned down invitations
from friends and co-workers. His leisure time was now spent watching
television or working in his shop in the basement.

His contact with people dwindled until friends became alarmed that
he might live out his life as a recluse. One came by to visit and to
invite him over for supper the next evening. The two old friends sat
in comfortable chairs by a warm fireplace. The visitor extended the
dinner invitation and encouraged him to come. "You may need to allow
others to share your pain."

The man responded that he figured he was better off without being
around other people. After all, others only seemed to remind him of
all he had lost. "And besides," he said, "it's just too difficult to
get out anymore."

They sat in silence for a while, watching the wood burn in the
fireplace. Then the visitor did an unusual thing. He took tongs from
a rack by the fireplace, reached into the fire, pulled out a flaming
ember and laid it down by itself on the hearth. "That's you," he
said.

The men sat in silence watching the red-hot ember. It slowly lost
its glow. Neither man looked away as the once-hot coal gradually
transformed into a crusty, black lump. After some moments, the
widower turned to his companion and said, "I get the message, my
friend. I'll be over tomorrow evening."

We cannot survive in any healthy way by ourselves. The leaf needs
the branch. The branch needs the trunk. The trunk needs the roots.
And the roots need the rest of the tree. We are connected. And in
that connection we find life and vitality.

-- Steve Goodier

[Aggie]

Thanks, Letha!

[Letha Robinson]

You're welcome, Aggie! I thought it was a nice, touching story to share!

[Goldilocks46]

Thank you for this, Letha!

[Letha Robinson]

You're welcome.

[CWO3ROBBIE]

So, true. Most of us need to interact with other humans. But, it does sometimes require effort. We need to be reminded often that socialization is what makes "IT" work.

[Letha Robinson]

You're welcome. Glad you liked it!

[Merry]

I'm healing up cause I'm burnt out from losing my husband and this story resonated with me. On the one hand I need the contact on the other hand I don't need a bunch of games. I have a lot to offer and at the same time, I need this me space. A constant balancing act and judgement call as to how much to allocate to all the different directions I feel pulled in. The consistent directions are in helping others and then recharging by working on starting a business next year.

[Bob Stepp]

Thanks Letha.

I too came close to being that lump of coal myself.......and I too was stopped just in time.

[Letha Robinson]

You're welcome, Bob! I'm glad you did not become that lump of coal!

[mother Sanity]

Definately. I hate pit especially if its not accompanied by pain killers. I do best sulking alone.