Love Can Destroy

[blondie 11]

I was on Facebook, as I am just about everyday, and they have a way of suggesting a friend you should invite. I noticed a name came up, and it really caught my attention.(it usually is someone that one of your friends has listed as a friend) This time it was very different. It was a man that I had communicated with over 5 years ago as a friend. He and I were friends, and it had possibilities of heading in a romantic direction, but he met someone that he just loved and adored with all his heart. We had known each other on and off for a few years as he was in the medical field and home based in North Dekota. When he told me he had met this love of his life, I was overcome with happiness(not really), but I wished him all the happiness in the world, because he was a real class act. Had just patented a medical tool he had invented and made mega bucks. Had not heard from him since as this was 05, and when the name came up on Facebook, I thought "what the hell, I will see how he is doing".

Shocked coming up. Facebook informed me I had a message from him. It said he did not know who I was. But it was written in a form I knew it was him. it said " My dear I do not know who you are, please help me remember." That did it. I got in my computer and got the email of yesteryear and sent him an email with the last letter he had sent me attached. Then as I have always been a determined lady, I picked up the phone and called him. I wanted to see how he was and something just did not seem right. He had always had such a wonderful voice when we had spoken before. I was shocked to the core. This elderly man, (it was him) answered on the first ring. He said, tell me again who you are. I kept telling him samll things about the times we spent together(nothing romantic, as it never happened), Finally he saId, I know who you are. My memory is just about gone. I asked about his lady. He started to cry. He said they spent over 2 years together and were engaged to be married. He said then he started looking into things and they just did not make sense. He said she had lots of problems with the law and financial. I said, OMG. Why did I not warn you!!!!! He said since that time I have not been able to think that well and I do not know what to do.!!!!!!!! I asked him where they had met and he said he could not remember the dating site. This has been over a year now since the parting, according to this man------a good, stable, honest man has lost all lifes meaning. He will be 60 next year.
I will stay in contact. I do not for see a happy ending. I called today---he did not answer the phone.

[caseyjo]

Love does not destroy........We destroy ourselves by not taking care of our own mental health. We look toward others to fill voids inside ourselves and when those voids do not get filled some of us go over the edge. The solution is to learn to fill our own voids by loving ourselves. If we learn to do this, disappointments whatever they may be...lost loves etc. will hurt, but not send us over the edge. Maybe this man just needs a little more time to heal. There could be a lot more to this story than meets the eye. Be careful, sometimes people can be very needy and need more help than we are capable of providing. Be especially careful with people on the re-bound. I hope the very best for your friend and for you too. If he sounds suicidal or depressed maybe you can talk him into seeing someone professional. There are 12 step programs for people who have relationship problems called co-dependency anonymous. Maybe you can call them up and get advice....Good luck.....K

[Corinne]

My goodness..I agree with Beau. Trust your instincts, be there for him. He needs "good" people around him.

[stillgoing]

A very sad turn of events for him and for you blondie 11. The scammers are out their and will do whatever it takes to take advantage of anyone who does not guard against them. Hopefully he can get past this and move on. You might suggest he seek counseling as he certainly doesn't sound well.

[Beau]

I have always been a believer in things happening for a reason - this is a sign that you are part of his future - not in the way you once thought but to be the stability and the shoulder he needs to find his life again. This was not an accident. Enjoy him as he has returned to your life for both of you not just him!

[blondie 11]

I just got ready for work, I came back and read this again. Honestly, I am in tears. I do not remember if he had children. I do remember that his first wife had died several years before. God really works in mysterious ways. This time through Facebook. I will try him later tonight, I am est--ND is pst, I guess, 4 hour differance.?

[Ivy Doolittle]

WOW !!!! That is so sad.