TBD on Ning

Yesterday I got an email from my 21-year-old son’s girlfriend, telling us what she’d gotten him for Christmas, so that we didn’t get him the same thing. It was a thoughtful gesture on her part. Still, a small part of me felt as if she’d just taken over what had been my role for the past 20 years.

It is wonderful to watch your children grow and mature and start to find their way through life. It’s damn difficult too, to lose the children you remember and see them moving away from you. Don’t get me wrong, I know they are supposed to become less and less dependent on their parents, and I have tried my best to make sure that I have raised them to become responsible, independent adults. It’s not easy to let go though.

Yesterday I sat next to him at the table and watched as he ate a turkey drumstick. I remembered the Thanksgiving when he was five and insisted that he wanted an entire drumstick. He couldn’t finish it of course, but I remember watching him then and laughing at how huge that drumstick looked in his hand. Now he’s bigger than I am.

He’s been floundering a bit this past year – not sure of what he wants to do with his life. His dad & I have tried to talk him into living at home for a while and taking classes at the local community college. He wants to stay in the town where he was going to college and work down there, with the goal of going back to college next year. He is stubborn though - must take after his dad! ;-) - and worked at getting a job and an apartment he could afford. So, we're not fighting him anymore, but letting him try his wings.

Today, we signed the title of our old “beater” van over to him, and had a discussion about how to go about establishing residency in another state. Then we hugged him and watched him drive away. We've watched him leave before, but it felt different this time. It seems like he's turned a corner, and we're heading for a new phase in life. It really hit me that my "baby" is a man now, with his own life. It's a strange feeling. I'm proud of him, and happy for him, and kind of sad too.

I knew this day would come, but it just seems like it's way too soon. :-(

Tags: children, go, letting, parents

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Time flys. Bless you Calli, your son has great parents. When I started reading this I thought 'Oh no, she's not going to interfere is she?'

You're a wise mom. I think it's tougher for moms than dads to let go.
Its not until we go through the trials as parents that we understand what we put our parents through. It was not until I went through my sons teenage years that I understood why my mother was always awake when I came home. No matter how late.
I know exactly what you mean, Robbie. A whole new perspective.
My oldest son wasn't doing much with his life for quite awhile. He went to college and then decided to quit because he didn't think what he was learning was worth what he was paying. Keep in mind this kid, when he was still living at home, would spend at least six hours a day playing World of Warcraft. Decided he needed to do something in life so he could marry his girl friend. Joined the Air Force and then got married. It's hard to believe he's grown and gone.
I think we never let go--we just loosen the grip a bit. I oldest daughter is one of my favorite stories. She was very smart in school. then she met this boyfriend and it was all downhill from there. 18 yrs old and I will move in with him and work at a drugstore. She graduated with honors from HS then after standing on her feet 1o hours a day working for minimum wage, she said she looked arounf and saw ladies in their late 50's making maybe $1. more than her. I think this was like a lighting bolt hit her. She broke up with b/f---moved back home and now has several degrees. She is married, has my only grandchild and is the local District attorney.
It's so hard to let go. You don't want them to have to go through the tough stuff that we went through when now we know pretty much how to handle certain things.That's the hardest part for me. Just wanting them to be happy and productive. And knowing that growing up is a hands on learning experience that no one else can do for them. I tried to show them a few short cuts like CLEP exams and then I realized that at this point what they really want is to hear that I have faith that they'll do alright.
I love those CLEP exams. I picked up a few Sm. Hrs. by taking them.
Mr. Christenson, I am most certainly NOT old enough to be your mother! :-p
Sometimes it's best to stand back and watch silently.




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