TBD

TBD on Ning

I got a problem. Yes, and I do not know how to approach it. I got a new computer about three weeks ago, and I have been the only person to use it, with the exception--of the chidrens father who ask to use it to check his email one afternoon. I was just flicking through the google sites last night as I have been looking up some things on the girlfriend that lost her son. I saw something that looked very strange--I clicked on the link--bingo--it was a link to porn of girls just over 18 doing it all. I am disturbed that this old man that is 71 is looking at this trash of children yonnger than his grandchild.

He had gone so far as to put this city in, and other things on the site.

 

Is this normal?

 

Help

Tags: do, help, what

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Many women choose poorly in hopes of fixing a man.

Sheldon's right about a man's simple needs. Food and sex. If he doesn't have an erection, give him a sandwich.
Good Christ! Is it not enough that modern society has basically neutered men with all the "SENSITIVITIES" we're supposed to be aware of and told not to offend that we
must be turned into eunuchs?!!!!?

I'll admit that the original issue in question of the man using somebody else's computer to watch "PORN" was out of line. Beyond that issue it's all subjective. I'll admit that there are men out there who are more learned than others when it comes to how they approach and/or deal with the women in their lives. The same goes for women.

It really comes down to the two people involved in a relationship. How those two people choose to deal with the issues confronting them usually sets them apart from the other people in their lives. We all have our idiosyncrasies and quirks that make us who we are but the moment we start trying to steer those "traits" in a direction that is more in tune with our perception of what is acceptable and unacceptable we are doomed to alienating ourselves from what attracted us to the other in the first place.
Honesty, respect, trust and compassion go a long way in making a relationship.
I shall add my BRAVO for my guy and a BRAVA for my dear girlfriend for applauding my beau TSD.

Certainly we now know far more than we ever expected to about the deeply personal lives of many and their various views on pornography, not forgetting the act of viewing it on a computer not one's own which we have (thankfully) all agreed is not cricket.

I still maintain on an everyday level that men are men and I've yet to meet a fully heterosexual male who does not find the attractive female form intensely appealing, whether he indulges in any sort sort of erotica or porn, or not. The fundamental things in life - still apply.

To emasculate men because of their penchant for finding women physically stimulating is an anathema to me. I've had a step-son and a step-daughter (from a very young age) and watched them grow and change on a daily basis - so I am also acutely aware of the differences between having a daughter, and a son - and what it is like to raise both.

The day we women strip men entirely of their masculinity and ride so roughshod over them with our admonishments disapproval and dictates as to their behaviour is the day that they will be reduced to hiding their feelings, and lying about themselves. Women are constantly clamouring for more disclosure, openness, and communication from their men - and yet when a man finally opens up - he oftentimes finds himself lashed derided and ridiculed for expressing his innermost desires and feelings. Men seem to be damned if they do and damned if they don't.

*Judging someone you don't live with and are not having an intimate relationship with concerning their sexual predilections is to my mind bad form at best and churlish and demeaning at worst, and speaks more about the person doing the damning than it does about the person being judged.

* And before the foxes howl about pedophiles or other deviants - I'm not addressing these issues here.
Exactly Felicia, men and women are very different in the way we see things.
We finally figured out it was my need to FIX them and love them despite them having some serious issues whether gambling or porn.

If you have covered this before, then you'll have to forgive me. My time here, unlike the original TBD, has been rather sporadic (but that's another topic) but it wasn't my intention to have you air your laundry in public, especially since you've apparently done it before.

But I would note that there are a lot of folks out there who do not actually require fixing.

Is it not enough that modern society has basically neutered men with all the "SENSITIVITIES" we're supposed to be aware of and told not to offend that we
must be turned into eunuchs?!!!!?


I blame The View
I don’t see anything wrong with venting.
We don’t have to hide our feelings, do we?
If my wife ate crackers in bed, am I not supposed to talk about it?
Lighten up and let people get things off their chest (no pun intended).
If my wife ate crackers in bed, am I not supposed to talk about it?

Only if she eats crackers that you don't like!
What if she won't share.

In defense of men, Porn is always in the mood. Porn never has a headache. Porn does not judge men. Porn does not have requirements that need to be met. Porn is unconditional. Porn doesn't yell at men. It's ok to forget the anniversary and birthday of Porn. Porn is instant, like microwave popcorn. Porn only has one mood that does not change. Porn is easy. Porn is always there.
Men are predictable creatures. Men want the same 5 things from age 18 to the grave. These things men like rarely change. One is ESPN, one being pizza, another beer.....etc. These things are as predictable as the tide, for thousands of years that have passed, the present, and not likley to change in the future. When it becomes a challenge for a man to get one of these 5 things (or however many things), of course the nature of the human will be the path of least resistance. Men like sex with the frequency of an AM radio. That's how they're hard wired.
Women on the other hand? Wired completely different. Perhaps.
Porn has been with us for who knows how long. (?) The method and speed of delivery has changed some fifteen years ago by technology.
The only reason porn and prostitution are frequently used is that there must be a demand. Is anyone at fault? I do not know.
I also am in possession of some financial tapes made by a "fixer" of companies. What does this have to do with Porn? I'll tell you. One one of these tapes, the financial guru related a story about hotel chains having to report to the US government the amount of porn being viewed in hotel rooms. On the report, according to this financial fellow, not me, he related that this report, which he has seen shows that 70% of porn purchased in hotel rooms is purchased in rooms reserved for women. That's an interesting statistic. I'm certain that this percentage could have an over/under and something also tells me that whatever the true percentage is, doesn't flex much.
After hearing this particular tape out of the set of twelve, I came to the conclusion that many human beings like porn.
I think there is still an unanswered question here, IGreatLady--has asked, if you have a daughter, would you like to see her in one of your porn movies? Porn is sleeze, it such big business and why do people contibute to this business?
A waitres and a Porn star--what do they have in common? One of my daughters did do waitress work while in college, but be a porn star--excuse me----You contribute to a business that is full of drugs and sleeze. They pray on run aways. I have seen the Madams come to town and had to have them run out of town because they were looking for runaway young girls. I have my finger on the pulse of more than most.
You contribute to a business that is full of drugs and sleeze.

Bulls**t!

Now, undoubtedly, you will come up with some story about your neighbor's best friend's third cousin who knew somebody who starred in a porn movie, later ended becoming a heroine addict, and eventually died.

There is no business, short of the actual importation and distribution of drugs itself, that is more drug-related than the music business. Does that mean you won't listen to CD's? The radio? Does that mean you wouldn't want your daughter to become the next Lady Gaga or Madonna? If you do any of these things, by the stated logic, you are just as guilty of promoting drug addiction as you claim those who watch pornography are.

And that's crap. Pure and simple.

Any business or hobby that attracts money is going to attract people who are into illicit enterprises. I would venture to say there are more drugs consumed, per capita, on Wall Street, as there are in the porn business. Are you going to get pissed if "your" daughter becomes a big-time investment banker because she just might do a line occasionally? Whether you (or I) approve of it or not, pornography is big business. And big business means big money and big money invariably invites drugs (as well as other assorted questionable behavior).

Would I want my daughter to go into the porn business? That's about as ridiculous a question as: Would you want your daughter to marry a.......................?" It's easy as hell (for me) to stand up and say, "Hell, no." But you know what? I'm neither holier than thou nor a hypocrite! I did a bunch of wild things when I was a kid and if I stood up and said, "you can't do that," that's exactly what I would be. When a person becomes an adult, they become responsible for their own actions, whether you approve or not. I would hope that I taught a set of values that are reasonable and consistant. But whether or not I am happy with the choice of occupations is on me - not anyone else.

Do bad things happen to people in the porn business? Surely. But people shanghai youngsters to work in sweat shops. They corrall young people to pick crops. Are you going to avoid food and clothing (which might lead to pornographic behavior but that's another story and I don't know you..........)

You can cloak it all you want but what this all boils down to is Puritanism, pure and simple. If you don't want to watch porn, that's certainly your pregogative. If you don't want it on your computer or in your home, you are certainly well within your rights to insist on that (or be offended by it). And I would hope that your friends are cognizant enough of your sensibilities to avoid watching it in your presence. But that's nothing more than your opinion. It neither gives you the right nor the privilege of preventing them from enjoying it. They don't need (nor, I expect, do they want) your approval.

And attempting to foist disapproval on others ("pornography leads to drugs and therefore we should ban it") is not only exactly what that is but it's also dishonest. Pornography has no more effect on drug use than rock lyrics (or TV shows) have on crime (and its been demonstrated, time and again, that there is no correllation) and attempting to link them is simply false. You (generic) may not approve of pornography but that is your opinion - don't dress it up in some sort of universal morality because that penguin ain't gonna fly.

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