I still stand to pee

[Hu]

This weekend I attended brunch with some friends and family. And the subject of male urination habits came up. The women were all in agreement that men should sit to pee. I viewed this as another attempt at the pussification of the American male...and decided to take up the banner for my gender.

I made the usual arguments. I stated that even if we sit...when we are finished we still have to milk it and give it a shake to clear the last ounce from the urethra. And that a little dab with a fistful of TP will not do the job. I told them of the problems of getting older...and the "hang lows" tea bagging the toilet water. I told them that my aim was so good that I could piss through a doughnut hole at 10 paces...and still be able to eat the doughnut. But I was met with doubt.

And then my own brother admitted he sat to pee. I say pee because that's what you do when you sit. When you stand...you piss... like a man. So anyway....my own brother said he sat to piddle! He went on to give some girly man excuse that I didn't pay any attention to...as I was still trying to absorb his most recent admission.

So now "She who must be obeyed" insists that I sit to pee. So to avoid her wrath ...I have a plan. Now I piss in the sink. I'm no sitzpinkler!

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Chez moi]

risky business, that...

[Hu]

Now that is talent! I think I'll start to practice that trick.

[TeeBubbaDee]

Be careful, it takes lots of practice!!

[HAVE_A_HEART]

I think what it comes down to is that women are jealous of the fact that the world is the men's toilet. We can stand and piss anywhere! In the woods, in walmart's parking lots, on our front lawns, on our back lawns. Heck--we can go into stairways..and let one loose. I think the women want us to sit down so that we can be just as limited to where we can piss as they are. Sorry ladies! If you want as much pissing freedoms as we have--be a man! Go raise a leg in the woods!

(You know I love u ladies!)

[Chez moi]

I can pee in the woods as well as anyone, thanks.

I think the only thing that annoys women is having to clean up after the dribblers. If they couldn't follow the little yellow trail, they'd never know whether you were upright or not...or, for those with good aim, how energetically you shook it afterwards.

[larry kremis]

LMAO, great one Chez! ^5

[Hu]

HAHAHAHAHA....You're an evil woman MM! That guy is scared for life.

[HAVE_A_HEART]

MM--that almost look like u---U don't happen to own one of them thingies---do u?

[Whiny Old Bastard]

I think everyone should stand to pee, it would eliminate the seat up,seat down argument.
http://www.stand2pee.com/
The material that follows was taken from a revised version of Genesis based on the Dead Sea Scrolls:

God approached Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and said unto them, “There remain of my gifts to mankind only two items, but I have yet to decide how they shall be divided between man and woman.”

And Adam said, “Tell me of these wondrous things, for I am the man, and by virtue of my closer resemblance to Thee, I must be given the first choice.”

“Well,” said God, “the first item is an extraordinary arrangement of tubing and erectile tissue that will allow you to urinate while standing up.”

“That’s it!” said Adam. “I’ll take it.”

“But this other item . . . ”

“No, no,” said Adam, “that’s what I want, God, and I want it right now.”

The moment the item was installed on his person, Adam gave a gleeful shout, then rushed off to urinate on trees and write his name in the sand, feats that to this day have eluded every woman on earth.

God and Eve stood alone in silence, looking one another in the eye.

“Ok,” Eve said at last, “what’s left for me?”

And God said, “It’s called a brain.”

[Hu]

But...but...but...I can write my name in the snow.....more fun when it's in her handwriting though....

[HAVE_A_HEART]

http://www.stand2pee.com/

If that wasn't one of those "Gosh! Why didn't I think of that?" ideas--I don't know what would be!

A question though...If a student got mad with the teacher, or if a teacher t\got mad with a student, would it be proper ettiquette for one to tell the other to "Piss off"?