DO YOU HAVE A SHADOW HATER ON HERE?

[Grace Linda]

I have noticed a couple of women on here that like to follow me around and nah say or insult me. I wonder what their problem is? Get a life.

[Tina]

I think that well may be true in alot of cases, however as life would have it it is not always true. Respect is often handed out to those who have not earned it, simply because a respectful person is the one responding. It is also quite easily done, to say "don't be a part of the problem" and then have these little groups go again saying that you ran away, like a coward. You see if it is not you on the receiving end then those things are correct and delightful things to post. However when one is attacked on a sight and they were no where in sight, in other words not even there, and a little clique decides to cause these online scenes then see it isn't so funny anymore.

I had never been attacked either, and I am a peace maker, However one can be a peace maker and also decide that they are no longer going to just sit back and take the shots anymore as well. If all people play by the same rules than there is no problem. I am curious as to why the person who was attacked is not getting your support? Why would anyone stand up for a bully? If Linda Grace is being followed around by someone why wouldn't any good person encourage her, instead of sticking up for those who are in the wrong? That comes as backwards to me.

Walking a way is a wonderful thing to do, until one gets very tired of the same thing over and over again. After a while you begin to wonder what world and with whom you are living with. I agree again, that All people should be treated with respect and I am truly very glad that you have not been one of the people on the receiving end, because it is not pleasant.

[Tina]

I agree, I was asking to know the answer and I thank you for yours. No I do not know Linda G, I do know me though, and so do those who are my online friends, so I am posting yes because of the question posed but not in defense of anyone but myself. And yes I hope that your online friends do know you Trr. Thanks for responding, I was curious...

[Tina]

thank you Trr, I was responding from "my own" personal experiences. I am grateful for the two way communication, and for the mutual respect and yes it is fine to agree to disagree. I was asking Trr, My question was is it not also in part to the blame of those doing the shadowing or taunting; not meaning or intending to accuse you. My apologizes if I did accuse you. Thank you for the "good day" wishes...same to you!

[Tina]

everyone's opinion count Cindy. I truly did not mean to word it as an accusation, I meant it more as a question. But I can see how it may have come across that way, which is why I have apologized several times. I do not know TRR and would not look to offend her for any reason. I just wanted to know..Thank you Cindy.

[Krisit]

I dont know TRR..I almost felt like you were the Shadow Hater by your responses. I can than understand where Tina is coming from. However I have seen your post and you seem to be a very neutral person. Not saying too much to offend someone just enough to voice how you feel. Grace just says it and sees it her way without fears of consequences. Now she has a Shadow Hater...Ugh!

Grace is just stating her opinion like she always does and we can respond or not. I agree, Grace handles her own but if she is getting stalked than how can it be fun to keep posting with someone sending angry responses. It makes TBD not such a fun place to be.

Too bad she couldnt take that negative energy person and just block them so she cant read what they post.

I am hoping the Shadow Hater will come out and voice their opinion so we can voice our opinion if they have a reason to carry so much hate.

[Krisit]

Sorry TRR you misinterpeted what I wrote. I meant when I first started reading your responses, I thought you were one of the Shadow Haters. I read further and changed my thoughts.

I respect Grace for saying how she feels just like I would respect you for your opinions. I would not want to go around following anyone and continue to criticize them.

In response to Tina...I was agreeing with her attitude that people should not be stalked because they voice their opinion.

Thank you for being so open and honest. Happy Sunday...: )

[LyndaAndLab]

Well I felt attacked in a discussion, along with a friend. The moderator was a friend, we even spoke on the phone. No one spoke up to the ranting person. No one said, this has become more about "winning" then listening and responding to each other. I begged the monitor to help, I went to community guidelines, I even went to "report an issue" at the bottom of the page, which sends an issue to Robin. I told her what it was in regards to. Never, ever heard back. The strongest voice that stepped forward was Dazzling Diana, herself. And she has checked up on me since.

We should never allow bullies to run the sight. Linda Grace, you are an intelligent, sensitive and strong person, and you should not have to handle this alone. I felt alone and almost left. You have caring people around you who want to help. Please let us.

Your friend,
Lynda

[Chez moi]

Lynda, I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm glad you survived that difficult moment. Yes, it often becomes a question of 'winning', and when that happens you need to take the good advice offered by Robin to Jo Lewis, and take care of yourself. Now you know, but the first time is hard to handle.

[Tina]

For me Cindy this is why this discussion could be a good one to have. Because I am unclear as to what happens when this goes on. With those who are not directly involved I mean. My question would be one of , if you saw such a thing say in the grocery store or at a club event would you step in and try to help or would you (anyone I mean) just say oh well not my problem? It is just one more social situation that bears discussion. I think it does but again, that may be because I have and I am on the receiving end of such a thing. I don't know, but I am surely reading all of the responses, with the heart and hope to find out!

[Chez moi]

Well, hello, this is a forum, not a blog.

Grace Linda was looking for feedback, I think, perhaps just in the form she received... she was upset and wanted us to think about how we communicate with others, if I have deduced correctly. I wouldn't like to think that this was posted solely as an angry signal to those she is annoyed with, which would be counter-productive. In any case, on TBD you can post nearly anything and you will end up getting all your bases covered, serious to humorous to off-the-wall. There have been some good comments made here today.

BTW, Hey You, I do not think I am alone in wondering to whom you are speaking... this format is diffucult that way, so next time, please copy and paste the subject in your response, thank you.

[Chez moi]

Yes, if this is directed at trr I think it is snide and uncalled for, Marjorie. (Yes, I've figured it out... takes me a minute or two) I thought she did a good job of setting out the situation fairly.

I am not one who likes discord, so I hope that you will simply think about this and not escalate anything by retaliating. I don't know about all of you but I am heartily sick of the whole subject and shall not return to it.

[Tina]

Well, Hey You, I tried that, when I was able to return to TBD, I wanted to discuss what had taken place and would have. However the one who did the vicious posting with all the slander had closed their profile and there is no way to contact them if it is closed. So it cannot always be handled privately. On the other hand the situation for me was not started privately, when I fell direly ill I left thinking that I had these good online friends who cared so much about me that I made sure they would be kept informed. Not a good idea I now have learned. I thought I was being a caring friend for all of those who had said they cared about me. I had no clue that there was or ever would be any problem especially with my wonderful TBD friends. Total utter shock to hear from a friend what was going on and then from my family who were also attacked on post on the front page of TBD. Private, yes this is a good thing, however this was not private at all, it was cruel and it was well not good for me! I seriously cannot figure out truly what it did for those who started it! I mean what was the point? But yes it should have been personal, and I would have liked it if it had been. I feel like many were hurt in some little way, then it was just swept under a rug and now every few weeks or now every few days I either receive another email from a friend that it's going on in pm's again or it's right out on the front page in some hidden form of a question or clever discussion. Why people, what on earth am I doing to you. I came to TBD to connect with the outside world not to have a war because I try to be a decent person. I mean it really get me the advantage some find in it...anyway Hey you, It can't always be handled on a personal level...I wish it could