TBD on Ning
Random Thoughts
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by TeeBubbaDee on
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I put the PRO in procrastination.
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Who says nothing is impossible.
I've been doing nothing for years.
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Permalink Reply by Aggie on
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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES*
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for three minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. *Remember to use a timer.*
6. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the headache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape. When all else fails, take a nap.
*Remember*...Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
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How come know-it-all's don't know how irritating they are?
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Man Logic:
Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3
Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
(This is where it gets scary !)
Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose
Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 am I correct?
Man: Correct
Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?Man: Correct
Woman: Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting
for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?Man: Do you drink beer?
Woman: No
Man: Where's your Ferrari?
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What Do You See?
Three people were visiting the Grand Canyon: a painter, a preacher, and a cowboy. Looking over the massive canyon, each one verbalized his observation:
"Incredible!" the painter said. "I'd love to paint a picture of this!"
The preacher waved his arms and cried, "Glory! Look what God has done!"
The cowboy exclaimed, "I'd sure hate to lose a cow down there!"
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Permalink Reply by Merry on
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It's going up to 90 tomorrow and it's 73 out now at 4am so I'm pumping the house with as much cold air as possible. I guess I'll be putting a lot more music cds on my laptop tomorrow as a way of beating the heat and avoiding heat stroke. The neighbors are my friends and they're fighting. =0( The town announced that it's shitting the bed as far as going broke. And in between anxiety attacks , I guess I'm doing alright. This isn't my first rodeo and I know how to roll with it. Still love my home and can get by no matter what they throw my way. Had three eeny , teeny asparagus plants come up from seed in the garlic bed. I feel validated. And the peony I transplanted is booming with a beautiful flower that smells like heaven. I think I'll go after the white irises next and rescue them. Have to figure out where to plant the rhubarb that I grew from seed this year, they're still growing in their not so pc Styrofoam coffee cups. Have a safe and happy, fun filled 4th everyone! I'll probably hang out tomorrow online to beat the heat.
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