TBD on Ning

Kat, or maybe it was akabukowski, once said to me that everyone thinks their life would make a good book.

She is probably right. What do you think?

Here is your chance.

Let's all tell stories from our experiences as we traveled through time.


Ahh, but there has to be rules. They will be pretty loose, but rules there must be.


1. It can be any experience that you want to tell us about.

2. It can be as short as one line. Or as long as fifty. Anything over thirty will be deleted.

3.You do not have to end the story at fiftyy lines, but you have to quit writing at the end of fiftyy lines. You can not post again until at least one other person  has posted something.

This ensures that everyone gets a chance.

4.You can continue on the same subject or jump to a new one.

5. Nothing is required to be in chronological order.

6. Very Graphic Sexual discriptions should be posted in the sex talk group. You can direct us to go there if we want to read about it.

7. No one will be checking the facts 

8. Additional rules will be posted and implemented as I see fit.

Step right up and post. who knows, the next knock on your door may be Spielberg asking for the movie rights.

Tags: adventures, death, joy, life, love, poverty, power, riches, sex, sorrow, More…war

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Did the guys survive?

That story reminds me of one of the dumbest things I ever did.

When I was in the eighth grade we moved to St. Albans, WV. We lived on Strawberry Road in a house that had formerly been a summer cabin for the previous owners. We had a waterfront lot with a boat dock and by the first summer we had a motorboat. I and all the other kids who grew up with the river as our back yard were pretty good swimers. However, I had a problem when diving off swings, or bridges, or out of trees. I could never seem to get my hands positioned so that hitting the water did not sting the top of my head.  

One late summer day, while engaged in a game of sandlot, tackle football, I came up with a brilliant idea.

I could't wait to try it. So, the next day. For the trial run  I climbed about 15 feet up in a riverside tree. Pulled on a football helmut and executed a graceful dive into the river.


I thought I had broken my neck. I could barely move. Luckly I had a couple friends watching this experiment and they helped me out of the river.

My neck was stiff for days. I just gave up and quit trying to be a high diver.



14 years old. Did a backwards one-and-a-half gainer off a 5 meter board at a public swimming pool.


I'd done many one-and-a-half's before this one. No Problems.


This time, I opened my eyes and remember thinking, "Why am I seeing the sky - "


That was the moment I hit the water, flat on my back, in a perfect crucifixion pose. I remember hearing poolside people screaming, even underneath the water.


Climbed out of the pool, and I was so red all over that nobody could notice how red my face was. Yikes, it STILL smarts a little, thinking about that...

Pics or it didn't happen.

I met an alien--actually a group of them.  I think there were six.  They came to my house when I was working alone one morning.  There were strange clouds in the sky that day and the neighborhood was oddly quiet--and then there was sort of a strange throbbing noise and they appeared.


Only one tried to communicate with me; I assume that he was the leader.  I say "he" because that's my best guess--everything was so weird that gender seemed irrelevant.  I didn't understand anything he said--I couldn't even identify the language, but for some reason this did not make me concerned.  I was inexplicably calm.


After a while, the leader and I worked out a sort of pidgin english augmented with gestures, and I think we eventually started to make sense to each other, but I'm still not sure.  He didn't seem upset or impatient with me.  I had the sense that they'd done this before with other people.  Perhaps that's how they knew what gestures would make sense to me.


While the leader tried to talk to me, the others walked around my yard.  They had large, apparently heavy devices, some strapped onto their backs, some pushed in front of them on wheeled carriages.  One was carrying something that looked like a small wire rake.


Some of them appeared fascinated with the flowers and other growing things in the yard.  Two looked up at the clouds most of the time.  They didn't talk among themselves--or perhaps they were, telepathically.


When they left, it was like they'd vanished.  There was no evidence that they'd ever been there.  I had a eerie feeling that I'd seem them again, and that they were going to be part of my life from that moment on.  It was just sort of a faith, for lack of a better word.  When the Spring came, I'd see them again.  Somehow, I knew.


By the time Spring came, I'd almost forgotten about them, but then one day in early May they reappeared and it all came back to me.  Ever since then, they've been coming back every week or two to cut my lawn.

Speaking of aliens remind me of labor and delivery.


I was in the last stage of labor, fully dilated, but my baby wouldn't come out. I got tired of pushing and tired of listening to my mom yell at me to Push harder (I wanted to slap her) while my doctor was surreptitiously watching an NBA game on the monitor above my bed. At least one of us is calm. I felt the baby inching her way out of the canal, but not fast enough. Then, in the last 5 minutes, an impatient Mother Nature takes over and my body heaves without me willing it to do so....and then Pop! out comes the last gush and my baby canonballs out of me like a football into the doctor's receiving arms.  3 minutes later an alien-like organism with the consistency of dense jello and slime slithers out between my legs onto the bed. (placenta)

I was pinch hitting for a professor who had taken a sabbatical for a few semesters. Before class started I would always make sure the desks were lined up in nice straight rows. However, by the end of class there was always a ragged semicircle of desks behind a certain gal, Andrea, who always sat in front. During the sixth or seventh week I gave a test and as I was wandering around the room I saw the reason - Andrea's fashion statement of extremely low cut jeans. Her posture in the chair offered a stunning view of the dragon tattoo on her lower back and butt.

Anyway, a couple of years later, I went into a 7-11 and saw a woman squatting down stocking shelves. The backside view of the ass and tattoo instantly registered - it was Andrea. So with her back to me I went up and said 'Hello Andrea!" She immediately turned around and said to me 'Perfesser, oh my God, how did you know it was me'    



I'm on the "President" a three deck level, paddle wheel party boat in the Mississippi River in New Orleans.

We have been drinking boilermakers. I am on a blind date with a group of friends from Keesler AFB, and young women from Chalmette, LA..

I and a couple of the other guys have just volunteered for the "Combat Controllers". A group in the  Air Force similar to the Army Rangers. ( I later failed the physical)

We are on the top deck, the dance floor and band are on the deck below.

We get to bragging like young guys will do. Decide to jump off the top deck into the river.

At this time, the boat was stopped and maneuvering to get ready to start toward the landing dock. I take off my sports coat and give it and my billfold to my date to hold until they meet me in the parking lot.

I then climbed over the rail and jumped. It was a hell of a long way down. I surfaced and started to swim for shore. I could hear people screaming "Man Overboard". When I got to the rivers edge, I realized my major mistake. The river is contained by a seawall. I had no idea how I was going to get out.

Then a guy appeared, looking down at me. "What the hell are you doing down there boy"?

" Got pushed overboard". He threw me a rope and pulled me over to where there was a ladder that I had not been able to see in the dark. I climbed up and found that I was in the very parking lot where our car was parked. The guy who pulled me out says "You better get your ass out of here". "The cops will soon be here". "Anytime someone goes over board the boat calls the police".

So, I take off. About the time I got to the car, which luckly we had not locked; I saw the red flashing lights. I crawled into the car and pulled off the wet clothes and pulled on a pair of shorts and the same cut off sweat shirt that is in the picture of me on the beach. When the other two couples got to the car I ask where my date was. She came back to the table, said "My date just jumped overboard" and gave us your stuff before she went home with some other people.  We went to Canal St. and partied into the wee hours.

If I believed in the supernatural, I would think I had a guardian angel.  I doubt tho that any would volunteer for that job.



I caught 2 crabs. I released them. They were too small.

I hope the PETA police doesn't come here because I traumatized the crabs.

It's taken me three separate nights to get through this thread.  


Several different stories come to mind.  I'll go with this one for now.  


I should set it up.  A lot of you know that I have eight kids.  My wife had the first three kids at the hospital.  First birth was somewhat uneventful.  Second one not so much.  When the time for delivery came the doctor and the nurses could not figure out why they were having problems finding the heartbeat.  The baby was a footling breach.  That meant that it was not in the right position for delivery.  Caesarean section was needed.  The doctor comes out afterward and tells me he nearly lost both of them, meaning baby and wife. I was surprised that a medical staff that deals in this so often didn't determine the reason for not being able to find the heartbeat but that's how it all happened. After this incident my wife started looking into alternative ways to deliver. With our third child the doctor allowed her to choose what position she could be in for delivery.  With our fourth we, well, let's just say I let my wife go with a midwife.  I would stack this gal up against any doctor.  She was so knowledgeable.  We never had any problems whatsoever....until child number seven.  

Laura, my wife, hated to call too early but when I could see things were moving along I told her to call the midwife.   I talked to her personally and she told me where she was and how long it would be until she got there.  I knew she wouldn't make when she did but, by golly, I was really hoping she would.  Yep, I was the only other person in the house that could help.  Fortunately, I watched the other deliveries and knew how it went.  I want to add now that I had never delivered a baby so for future reference all you baby deliverer wannabes, after the head comes out you have the pushing stop and check to make sure the umbilical cord is not wrapped around the neck.  You see it coming right?  Did I mention I kept looking out the window to see if the midwife was pulling in the drive? The cord was around his neck. I pulled it over the head and then told Laura she could push and out he came. All ten and a half pounds of him.  


My name at work after this was Dr. Dave.  

   When I was four, my parents worked as seasonal workers on a farm picking tomatoes for the local canning factory. My father was sort of in charge of making sure all the other worker were doing their jobs. Most of the other workers were migrant workers and spoke little English. My father was a very cruel man and usually got his point across to everyone in a physical way and so was very hated on the job.

  He, my mother, his two brothers and my we three kids lived in a car on the far back of the farm. Usually, my brothers and I, being very small, slept in the floor of the car and the seats were pulled out to provide a sleeping place for the four adults. Every morning after we were fed something, my father would tie a rope around our waist and lower each of us kids into a deep gash in the earth where we would stay until lunch time when the adults would come back to the car to have lunch and rest for an hour.After lunch, it was back in the hole until about an hour after dark.

 The hole was about twelve feet deep and probably twenty feet wide by about forty feet long. There wasn't much to do down there so one day I decided to take matters into my own hands and find a way out. I took a large spoon while my parents weren't looking and hid it in my underpants waistband. Once in the hole, I began to dig small toe holes into the sides of the dirt wall. It took a long time but by early evening by standing on my brothers backs to reach the upper parts of the wall, I was able to dig enough holes to sink my bare toes into and with the help of some tree roots and my little brothers steadying hands, I was able to pull myself out of the hole. Once out, I laid on my stomach and was able to take my brothers' hands and pull them each from the hole. We set off to find our parents in the gathering darkness.

  As we approached the workers, several of the men grabbed at us in an unfriendly way and my little brothers began to cry. I screamed at the men to leave us alone and the screams brought my dad running. A horrible fight resulted and several men were hurt. I felt very guilty that my plan had caused so much trouble and had put my little brothers in danger. After that, we couldn't be safely left in the hole anymore because the secret that we existed was out so we had to stay in the car parked close to the farm owners' barn. That was a hard lesson for such a little girl but it has stayed with me all my life. I try always now to think things through before embarking on what seems like a mere adventure to me but could put others in a bad position.

Willie, All I can say is WOW!! That's a heck of a story.




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