Couple Speak

[Wylde Abandyn]

So, how do you relate to your partner...here's an exchange I just had with my significant other...

Steve: Why are you wearing your socks in this heat, dumbass?

Wylde: Why do you have to call me "dumbass"?

Steve: Because...

What do you say to your significant other that would be interpreted as negative, but that you understand and DON'T take offense to?

[Patti]

The labeling and name calling is unnessary, thereby leaving no grey area:

Why are you wearing your socks in the heat??????

[SeaRain]

I agree with Patti. The labeling and name calling may someday turn into something more sinister.

And besides that, don't you know not to answer a question with a question? You opened yourself up for a negative response.

Answer with something like: I'm not, they are your socks.

[Wylde Abandyn]

Well, we freely label ourselves dumbass, too. I think there's something interesting here because we relate to each other this way and there is no animosity involved. I've seen other couples who can't stand each other never "speak" a "negative word". For us, it's an actions speak louder than words thing.

[Ruby Red Crystal]

Wylde, I can look at my husband and simply smile and say "asshole'. He knows it is just a pet name I have for him. Glad I am not alone is this.

[darroll]

Yes I have the same problem.
I used to be darroll and now I’m asshole at times.
LOL

[SeaRain]

Wylde, I apologize for preaching instead of answering your question. It depends on the people involved.

I swear at my daughter all the time. She swears back. We don't mean anything by it.

Daughter: WTF is going on?
Mother: How the h... am I supposed to know?
Daughter: Because you are the g.d. mother.
Mother: I am so f...ing tired of that role.

Ok then. Let's go out to eat. That'd be great.

No animosity, no anger, just a way of talking, and maybe letting off steam in a safe environment.

[Wylde Abandyn]

Yup, yup, yup. When I wrote the original post, I had nothing but a warm, fuzzy feeling about the exchange. Just couple speak that doesn't make sense to outsiders sometimes.

I also frequently threaten my dogs that I'm going to kick their asses. They wag their tails in response. I guess I need to work on my delivery.

[Patti]

I have to say you all are right. It comes to the environment you are raised in, your personality and past experiences.

Coming from a 30 year verbally abusive marriage (now divorced 7 yrs), I just felt that there was better ways of communicating. Like you said there has to be an understanding on both parties that it IS just words, and that the tenderness is really there. We did not have that and the volgarity was way worse and in front of the children.
Well, that was then and this is now, much better.

[Orianb]

My conversations usually go something along the lines of, " hey heifer, git yo ass in the kitchen and fix me a samitch and bring me another beer and the remote while you're at it."

[Orianb]

Of course that was then, now it's just me and the dog in a house on wheels..........do you think it was something I said?

[Gator Gal]

Is anything broken? Haven't felt suspiciously ill recently have you? No?
Then nahhh...it's just a coincidence.

[Orianb]

Come to think of it Gatorgal...I do feel much better now that she's gone.......DAMN! You don't think that crazy heifer was poisoning me do you? That would be a first, I've had exes shoot at me and break various objects on my person, but never poison...at least not that I know of.
See ya, gotta go get some tests run. BTY gatorgal ROLL TIDE!