CUSSING AT WORK

[Forum Discussions]

Cussing at Work
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.
Therefore,a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training..
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.
Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.
Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!
Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.
Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?
Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.
Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.
Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.
Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.
Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.
Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.
Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?
Number 18

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources
LMFAO!!

[Aggie]

Good one!

[Ivy Doolittle]

LOL :) Hi Aggie

[Ivy Doolittle]

LMAO, Chuck !!!

[Ivy Doolittle]

Snort Chuckle Snort.... Sandy, I really like you. {{{{HUGS}}}}

[darroll]

Good Post
************************************

How are you going to describe situations… then?
Use abbreviations:
TOK= test ok.
NFG= not found good (or?).
ATP= All Tests passed.
WAG= wild a$$ guess.
AFU= all fouled up (or?)
YAFI= you are a friendly idiot (or)
When’s break time?

[Ivy Doolittle]

LMAOOoooooooooooo, darroll.

[HAVE_A_HEART]

Dear Assholes,
..Uhmm--sorry--To whom it may concern:
I am thinking YOU are the one who could use more training!! Whoever gave the order to type this memo up must be some type of aggressive go getter or something! Do you even realize that i, and many others will have to work late, just to practice some of these sayings? All of us bird cage cleaners, including myself..are certain this isn't feasable!

Do you REALLLY feel you have to continue to come up with ways of aggavating us?? Maybe the next time you got some new orders--you should check with our union representives to find out whether or not we want to be involved with the project!

Hopefully when you talk to the union reps, you will at least present something interesting to hear. Because I gotta tell you, just from being around my fellow bird's crap,...(sorry), my fellow bird waste wiper uppers, I'm really not sure this can be implemented. However, if you want us to start practicing this,(and you are willing to pay for the overtime we will need for this), we will try to schedule that.

I actually believe I know which of you human services people initiated this memo, and I have to make you aware of the fact that I do not believe he is aware of the issue! Why just the other day, I try to invoke conversation with the person in question when I went up to him and kindly said "Exscuse me..Sir?', and he just totally blew me off. so I guess he wasn't happy with it for some reason!

I'm sorry this Is getting long, but my fellow bird cage cleaners and I, Especially me, are a bit overloaded at the moment! From the way you people have been treating us around here lately, I just don't think you understand things. It is like you think we love a challenge, or something.

So after you have read this whole letter--are you still wanting us to take care of this? Because if you do, and if the person who is responsible for this memo still stands by it, i have to say you are all being somewhat insensitive. Oh and one more thing...If this is implemented,then all of us bird crapper wrapper uppers will be telling you to take this job and shove it!! (In other words that means go F*** yourselves!!

Sincerely
the bird crapper wrapper uppers team
(And all of thier Moms too)

[Ivy Doolittle]

LMFAOOoooooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )

[stillgoing]

Thank you for sharing Ivy. I will do my best to follow the newly recommended sayings.

But it may take a while to adjust as I've been telling people they are fu*king lame ass idiots for a number of decades but only to those who really deserve it. The remainder just too stupid to understand an insult. Oh look, it's beer thirty, see you later.

SG

[Ivy Doolittle]

LMAOOOOooooooooo ! Yes, SG I do love you !!!!!!!!! LMAO !

[BethD]

F-ing A man.

[darroll]

We had a scatterbrain boss. He got mad at our crew for cussing and then promptly fired all of us.
We grabbed our lunch boxes and started to leave.
He said, "where are you sob’s going"?
Someone said you fired us.
He said that he was just kidding and to get our a$$es back to work.