What? Politics is Funny?

[EddieDingo]

Whether you support this guy:

Or this one:

Can we keep it fun?

[Shadowman]

[flippr 2.0]

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[flippr 2.0]

[Aggie]

[Aggie]

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying. Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."
Her father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the conservative side of the fence."
If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test!
If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him..
If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and Jesus silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative reads this, he'll post it. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended."
Copied and revised.
Well, I posted it. Your call.

[Aggie]

[flippr 2.0]

[Aggie]

If aliens came to earth, what would be the most difficult thing to explain to them about humanity?
(Note: this concept is blatantly stolen from Yuval Noah Harari in “Sapiens”).
-Do you have your report on the planet?
-Aye, sir, we’ve identified the dominant species.
-You’re telling me that this is the life form that rules the earth?
-Oh, indeed, sir. A very successful one, too. In a few thousand years, they went from being a local grass strain to dominating a large chunk of the planet.
-But how is that possible, they appear to be immobile.
-They are, but a few thousand years ago, they domesticated a bipedal ape-species to do their bidding. At the end of their life cycle, they pay the apes with their seeds, which the apes then use as food. The arrangement has been exceptionally lucrative for the wheat. The apes go crazy for those grains, they spend their entire lives trying to get more of it. They not only carry the seeds from place to place, but they exert huge amounts of labor to create a perfect environment for their overlords: removing rocks from the soil, picking every plant that could compete with them, even chopping down forests to give them more sunlight and diverting rivers to provide them with ample water. Then they fetch animal waste in large quantities and carry it to the wheat to nourish them.
-But how do the wheat stalks enforce this if they can’t move.
-They don’t, really, they just refuse to produce grains until they get their way, so they humans do whatever they demand. They’re well trained at this point, most don’t even question it anymore.
-Isn’t that hard on the apes?
-Heavens, yes. They had to devote huge numbers of their own population to carry out all these tasks, and many of them were physically broken, injured or killed in the process. But they apes know their place, sir. They work for the wheat and they consider it to be a noble calling.
-But wait, you said that this was a technological society.
-Oh, indeed. The apes have become so dependent on the wheat that they’ve developed a whole infrastructure to spread and protect it. They learned to make metal implements so they could prepare the ground and harvest their reward. Then they captured other animals to help them with the tasks. Then they created fuel-burning engines so they could spread their wheat overlords still further. Eventually, the feces they shoveled wasn’t sufficient, so they developed chemical methods to keep their overlords fed and nurtured. In fact, they maintain rather extensive production facilities, making compounds that are dangerous and toxic to themselves, because the wheat wants it. At this point, the wheat dominates lands across the world, far away from their initial homeland, because the apes have been so diligent and aggressive in building their colonies.
-Interesting. It’s rare to see servants with that kind of devotion. The wheat’s ability to inspire loyalty is truly impressive. We should seek to make contact as soon as possible. There is much we can learn from them.