EL CHEAPO

[Mark Joel Lane]

     I have a confession to make. I'm one of those people who often take home free items from restaurants, supermarkets, and other establishments that are primarily to be used while you are there or to go with something you purchased.  You want to call me cheap.? Go ahead. But we all do it. Don't deny it.

 

     Taking ash trays and towels and soaps and shampoos,etc. from motels or hotels. Now that's expected of guests..I'm talking about things like the jelly and marmalade from a booth at a diner or restaurant along with copious amounts of artificial sweeteners like Splenda or Sweet & Low or Equal. The packets are free so why buy them? Am I being cheap or what? 

 

     At fast food restaurants, I'll help myself to extra napkins, plastic silverware, straws, ketchups, salt and pepper.  In 7-11 stores I get my supplies of packets of honey and barbecue sauce. Supermarkets often put out all these aforementioned items as well as tea bags plus all the samples,especially in the bakery department. I take multiple samples of cookies, cakes, and muffins..even cake slices and I put them in the free plastic bags provided in the supermarkets. Am I being cheap or what?

 

     There used to be a chain of steakhouses here in New York City and Long Island called Cookies Steak House. Now, I didn't get as crazy as a friend named Rita who would bring huge zip lock  plastic bags from home and fill them with items from the salad bar like shrimp plus lots of fruit from the dessert bar. Not to be outdone, I brought plastic bags to take home items from a restaurant called Sizzler and Charlie Brown's Steakhouse. I used to stock up on these tasty corn fritters as well as everything Rita would fill her goody bags  with before we would abscond the premises. Am I being cheap or what?

 

     For a woman, it's easier to smuggle the goods in a pocket book or hand bag . I'd stuff my pockets full of goodies I could enjoy at home. Now those huge steak knives at some better steakhouses and bistros I rarely try to swipe.They can be very dangerous in one's pants if you get my point. But some fancy spoons and forks? Why not? Am I being cheap or what?

 

     I think my pilfering and Thief of Baghdad antics go back to about when I was 10 years old. I don't recall exactly what happened. This was 55 years ago. True story .Really.!!!    I was at some wedding and wearing a red blazer jacket my mom had bought for me.  Apparently there was a serving of fruit salad for everyone at the tables. Being the picky eater I was....and still am , and worried I'd be  yelled at by my mother and get embarrassed at the table, I hid the fruit salad in my jacket pockets. 

 

     I don't remember when my mother discovered the mess..perhaps that evening at home or the next time I would be wearing that blazer. She certainly could not be thrilled finding the jacket pockets soiled with strawberries, cherries, and chunks and slices of pineapples and oranges along with a generous amount of syrupy gunk.  When I attend any weddings or other catered affairs now with my wife, I make sure I double bag anything I stuff in my pockets so my wife will never know.

[Aggie]

I take home a paper napkin, pepper and salt packets or two.

[Mark Joel Lane]

That's it??? Hi. Of course I was exaggerating a lot in my post..Ketchup?  I stuff a bottle in my wife's pocketbook and tell our waitress our table has no ketchup at restaurants we dine in. 

[Aggie]

I also collect rocks while walking to work. I display my rock collection on my road at the farm.