funny and sometimes thought provoking quotes...

[z100]

Do you have any, maybe from movie, speech you heard, a comedian, maybe even a politican, or how about yourself??

George Carlin;

Why do we park in a driveway but drive on a parkway??

Always do whatever's next.

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.

Bill Cosby;

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Old is always fifteen years from now

[TeeBubbaDee]

The beatings shall continue until the morale improves. Captain Bligh

[Red One]

"Don't look back, because we are not going that way".

The Red One

[z100]

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.
Dave Barry

[Slayer Dug]

"Life is 90% attitude and 10% action." Len Smith (My Stepfather, R.I.P.)

[Slayer Dug]

This is one of my all time favourites and perhaps my best known line...
"If I didn't like you the way I treat you would be ten times worse!"

[Slayer Dug]

Here is another one that I came up with in the heat of an argument on an old TBD thread...I think it's brilliant...
"You couldn't masturbate if you had an instruction manual and a third hand!"

[z100]

Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't.
Pete Seeger

[Orianb]

A couple from "White Lightning"

Gator McKlusky: Only two things in the world I'm scared of
Sheriff Connors: Only scared of two things, what's that?
Gator McKlusky: Women and the police.

Big Bear: [holding a knife at Gator's throat] You can eat my grub… I'll let you haul my whiskey... but don't you ever do me no *wrong*!
Gator McKlusky: How'd you like that knife shoved up yer ass?
Big Bear: [long pause] I wouldn't like that at all.

[Slayer Dug]

Richard Pryor (From Live on the Sunset Strip)

"When you're runnin' down the street on fire people tend to notice; they tend to get out of your way, except for the bum on the corner who says, 'Hey buddy, can you spare a light? how 'bout a flick off of your sleeve?' "

[Slayer Dug]

Eddie Murphy from the movie "Delirious"

"My father established our relationship like this: 'I brought you into this world. I'll take you out. Don't matter to me cuz I'll make another one that looks just like you.' "