What? Politics is Funny?

[EddieDingo]

Whether you support this guy:

Or this one:

Can we keep it fun?

[Snagg]

In no particular order....

Spoiling my fiancee rotten, live music, Mexican food, clever cultural and political satire, New Orleans, sex, independent record labels, my grandson, smart-ass t-shirts, pride in a job well done, democracy, movies, reliable power tools, hardback books, my daughter, Memphis, the research section at a good library, justice, the Rolling Stones,  barbecue, solar, geothermal and other renewable, non-polluting power sources, "The Colbert Report", Seattle, popcorn, DJ'ing, truth, Savannah, Thai food, spoiling our dog rotten, little kids, animals in general, recycling, gratitude, my son-in-law, well-earned respect, serrano peppers, Boulder, decency, National Record Store Day, doing favors for my friends, cajun food, Coke (Not Pepsi), craftmanship, kindness, doing the dishes, Tom Waits, fried onion rings, facts, magnifying glasses, big honkin' loudspeakers, self-reliance, a stretch of I-40 between Amarillo and Albuquerque, honorability, a good bourbon, cognac or brandy, hunting for old vinyl records to restore a collection that was destroyed by my lying-assed cokehead cunt of an ex-wife (who still looks like Mother Theresa compared to you, you ignorant jackass), good Mexican tequila, my older brother, Chicago-Style hot dogs, Geostationary Positioning Systems, the scientific method, wooden floors, pizza, Austin, beating the odds every time I drive through the bootheel of Missouri, gyros, Thelonious Monk, fall-arresting harnesses, Key Lime Pie, martial arts, Southern Sweet Tea, bicycling 30 or 40 miles on a nice day, Howlin' Wolf, huaraches, Hunter S. Thompson, woodworking and cabinet building, the Shawnee National Forest, grilled peppers & onions, a flashlight that you can depend on, Bun Thit Nuong Cha Gio, turning total strangers on to bands and music they've never heard of, Mom-&-Pop and local businesses, pecan pie, my cousin Kathy, a really nice satchel I had a local leatherworker make for me a few years back, Lester Bangs, blackberries, San Diego, hydraulic paper cutters, fresh sushi, laundry dried out on the line on a sunny day instead of in a dryer, Captain Beefheart & the Magic Band, neodymium magnets, old suspension bridges over big rivers, fried chicken, old comic books, wise-ass bumper stickers, paying off the bills, the internet and finding weird shit at garage sales

There's plenty more, but I've already wasted more time on you than you deserve.

[darroll]

Bingo,

I knew you could be happy and sane for a few minutes.

[Snagg]

I'm happy and sane most of the time, darroll -

The problem is not me; The problem is that you're dumber than fuck; A spoiled, uneducated, selfish and entitled racist, drunken nobody, who spends a lot of his life bitching about the fact that it's now the 21st century (instead of the 18th, where vicious morons like you called the shots, so you thought that must have been heaven), and you're too stupid to grasp the idea that people who simply know what pathetic trash you are, are not the same thing as people who must be miserable.

I'm a pretty happy, easy-going guy, darroll - But every time I set foot in here, I set foot in your lame, backwards hillbilly bullshit, and it's mildly annoying. That's all. As far as I can tell, your only life is sucking down whatever lies FOX News or Rush Limbaugh spewed out that morning, and puking it back up here - Like you think we're too stupid to actually know what's going on in the world, so god appointed an inbred goat-fucker that's too dumb to figure out how to eat a fucking sandwich, to educate us all.

[darroll]

It sure looks to me why we need leaders that lead us now.

How did the world end up so screwed up? blind voting.

Is God mad at the world and turning the sun into a super nova?

[Snagg]

If there were a god, darroll, you,'d be locked in a.facility, in some sort of a harness, running on a treadmill to generate electricity which would be used to recharge the tasers that are issued to every decent citizen, to zap every ignorant fuck like you whenever you lower the political discussion with your lies about how "climate change isn't real" or that all liberals are pussy traitors, or how innocent black people deserve to be shot by racist cops, just to remind them of who's in charge of this here "perfect" country. The electricity would also be used to power the cattle prod that would be applied to your needle dick every time you slow down on that treadmill, whining that you don't deserve to be held responsible for your bullshit.

[Snagg]

Just heard Chris Hardwicke refer to Trump as a "barking goblin testicle".

Yeah, that sounds about right.

[darroll]

Yes whoever that guy is.

They are worried about the truth.

I just punched him up.

He is worth 10 Mil.... Where is my share of his money?

Robbin Hood ain't gonna like this racism.

[Snagg]

You dumb prick. They're "worried about the truth" like you're worried about your MENSA application getting lost in the mail.

I wonder what it's like in "darrollworld"; I imagine you sitting in your basement, on a ratty couch you scrounged from the city dump, guarding your stinking "treasure" from the hordes of illegal immigrants that you're certain are prowling around your back yard - All while you spastically jerk off to Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck commercials for "racial purity pills" and "Freedom Suppositories".

[Aggie]

[Aggie]

A Country Founded by Geniuses but Run by Idiots

Jeff Foxworthy:
If plastic water bottles are okay, but plastic bags are banned, — you might live in a nation (state) that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots WE DO LIVE IN SUCH A DUMB COUNTRY!!
If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman who is confined to a wheelchair or a three-year-old girl can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE

[Snagg]

Nice try...But a lot of that wasn't actually written by Foxworthy. It is attributed to him, because he's a friendly face, a comedian who tells people jokes that amuse and comfort them, but also that suggest that certain things have to change -

But he didn't write most of that stuff. It's like when some asshole creates a meme of Albert Einstein's face, and then puts something that Einstein never said or never would have said, in quotation marks, to suggest that the "smartest man who ever lived" endorsed whatever the asshole who made the meme wants you to believe.

It's dishonest as fuck, pal - And saying "THINK BEFORE YOU VOTE" doesn't really mean what that post wants you to think it does - What it wants to hide from you, is the idea to "Think, and BEWARE of slick, lying motherfuckers who would manipulate your emotions with cheap-assed tricks like this".

You don't like it ? Don't blame me. Blame the sneaky fuck who lied to you - Because it wasn't me.

You wanna believe that shit in that post, the shit that Aw-Shucks Good Ol' Boy Jeff Foxworthy never actually said ? Go right ahead. It's a free country.

Just stop blaming everybody but yourself when nothing changes for the better, because it's your continuing to believe and cling to what you wish was true, is what's holding everything else back.

darroll, this post does not apply to you, because you're exactly the kind of gullible ignoramus it's aimed at. You're fucking hopeless.

[Aggie]

Clinton is out jogging around in some of the seedier areas of Washington D.C. He notices a good looking prostitute. She sees this and calls out: “Fifty dollars!” He is tempted, but the price is a little high. So he calls back: “Five!” She is disappointed and turns away and Bill continues his jog.

A few days later, he finds himself jogging in the same area and as luck would have it, the prostitute is still there. But she want not come down on her price. “Fifty!” she shouts and Bill answers her: “Five!” No sale.

About a week later, Hillary has decided that she wants to get into shape so she demands to go jogging with Bill. They get to the seedy part of town and the same prostitute is still there. She eyes Bill and Hillary together and yells: “See what you get for five dollars!”