sex addiction true or false

[frenchy]

we've all heard the term sex addiction , but exactly what does it mean ?? i mean who here doesn't like sex . how much do you have to like it before its an addiction ?? how often and for how long at a time ?? when does everyday ordinary garden variety sex cross the line and become an addiction ?? and why does someone become a sex addict anyway ?? is it because sex just feels so much better to them that they lose their mind over it ?? or is it because they can never seem to reach that place .. you know where you feel like wow that was the spot .. you scratched that itch .. i've heard the term so many times but gettin a true definition is kinda hard to nail down .. some shrinks will even say it don't exist while others will argue just as hard sayin it does .. ( of course the ones who say it does probably base a lot of their practice and income on the idea that it is true cause you can't treat a non existant illness can you ?? or can you ?? ) so what do you think ? sex addiction , just a ploy for shrinks to play freud and get rich ?? or is it a real thing ?? and why do you think one way or the other ??   

[Snagg]

It's real - In the sense that the human mind, if so inclined, can become addicted to anything.

I've never heard of anybody going through withdrawal symptoms, but that's because it's a mental and emotional addiction, not a physiological one - I hear it's a lot like a gambling addiction. A person can become addicted to the rush of the pursuit, the back-and-forth of flirting, the dance of seduction - And then, the pay-off at the end. A person wrapped up in that can betray a spouse, ruin someone else's marriage, risk their life and career - All for just One. More. Hit.

[Lucinda Stone]

Very true. And like any habit, it's difficult to break... You might break your self-esteem and other relationships and all that goes with that, and even when you look in the mirror and don't like what you see.... As you said it's the dance and One. More. Hit.
Someday you will realize it's time to stop the music and get off-- literally no pun intended.

[ProblemAgain]

[uno,dos,3]

I was addicted...it starts innocently enough, escalates, and before you know it you're hooked on crack.

Eventually you either dry out or you start mainlining. Now age related maladies are having an impact...my arthritis has caused me mounting problems. Oh well. I still give it the old college try. 

[uno,dos,3]

One further thought...sex addiction becomes more problematic as one ages. It's difficult to continue being a sex junkie when fewer and fewer people are interested in your junk. 

[uno,dos,3]

Wouldn't it be more accurate to say 'strangers she flucked off the street'?

[dwalt]

I really would not think it would be a bad "addiction" to have.  At our age it just might be a little "harder" to get participants.

[crestofwaves]

As May West said, "A hard man is good to find."

Sometimes psychological addictions are harder to break than physical ones.  Once when I was in therapy with my son who was abusing drugs, the therapist said I was no different from him because I was in a relationship to which I was addicted.  My son hated the guy, so he told the therapist stories about fights the man and I had and issues we dealt with.  When I realized the therapist was right, I broke it off and met my husband shortly thereafter.

[Snagg]

My ex was a cokehead who insisted that she didn't have an addiction problem because she wasn't a drunk like her mom and dad were.

Addicts are notorious for the mental gymnastics they can perform to avoid the reality of their situation...The substance or behavior being abused really isn't the point.

[ProblemAgain]

as a matter of fact, a lot of people with addictive personalities or chemical imbalances have a favorite addiction but substitute when the favorite is not at hand. so the addiction is to changing the reality, not necessarily the substance or the behavior

[Snagg]

Exactly. It's also why so many purely faith-based recovery programs have poor success rates - They don't address or fight the addiction so much as they re-direct the addiction to a more socially-acceptable object. Namely, "Jesus".

They usually fail to take into account that addictions escalate, and think that simply bringing another former sinner into the fold is the greater end unto itself. Sooner or later the need for a bigger, more satisfying hit grows beyond the capacity for the argle-bargle of religion to satiate, and the relapse into more physical substances become all the harder to combat.

I'm just passing along what I saw happen to about a dozen users that I've tangled with over the years. They all get all sanctimonious and holy-roller, righteous and holier-than-thou, until the old hunger kicks in, and rosaries and chanting don't cut the mustard - And then they go off the wagon harder than anybody I saw who had gotten themselves into a serious, medicine & therapy-based recovery program from the get-go.

The relapse is frequently exacerbated by their church-based programs inability to deal with the medical realities of addiction, who again try weeping and praying and "positive re-enforcement" (Read: Shaming and guilt-tripping) to "cure" the junkie whom they've already so badly failed - All while scrambling around to cover their own asses.

[frenchy]

well .. so far no evidence one way or the other .. we all have opinions .. but none of that makes it fact .. i'm just not sure .. i know back when i was younger when i had a significant other i could have sex 5 or 6 times a day with no trouble .. and some days even more .. but when there wasn't a partner i didn't lose my mind .. ( of course there was always that proverbial one night stand ) and when they happened i could make it last for 3 days .. but a sex addict ?? nahh .. i don't think i was .. yet i was by far the horniest bastard out of all the guys i hung with .. maybe i was just in denial ?? nahh.. i don't think so .. i'm older now so i can even skip a day sometimes , can an addict do that ?? would an alcoholic drink every other day cause he was older ?? and while i'll admit i may have told a fib here and there if sex was involved but it was never in a mean way where someone elses feelins didn't matter .. if anything i'd do what i could to make someone feel better not worse .. but a sex addict wouldn't bother with that .. they'd just get a nut and be out and about lookin for another one .. and i didn't need to do that .. i'm not sayin it never happened .. i'm just sayin i didn't need to . and if i was with someone i could be true blue .. i'm not sayin i wasn't tempted but i could control myself ..

so just what is it that makes someone a sex addict .. anyone ever know one for certain ??