Can You Read The Signs?

[d's girl]

 

Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs...

Do this! Don't do that! Can't you read the signs?! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Aggie]

He used to sell those signs after his act, 1 for a dollar or 2 for five dollars this his wife made him stop. The ladies at the bank thought she was a cheap stripper with all the small bill deposits. He was born in Galveston Texas.

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Shadowman]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Aggie]

Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, “Danger! Beware of Dog” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?”
“Yep, that’s him,” he replied.
The stranger couldn’t help but be amused. “That certainly doesn’t look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?”
“Because,” the owner replied, “before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him.”

[Aggie]

Polish Immigrant
One day, an immigrant from Poland entered a New York City police precinct to report that his American wife was planning to kill him. The police officer on duty was intrigued by this, and he asked, "How sure are ya that she's gonna kill ya? Did she threaten to kill ya?"

"No," replied the nervous immigrant.

"Did ya hear her tell someone else that she's gonna kill ya?"

"No."

"Did someone tell ya that your wife is gonna kill ya?"

"No."

"Then why in the world did ya think she's gonna kill ya?" asked the exasperated police officer.

"Because I found a bottle on dresser and I think she's gonna poison me!"

He handed the police officer the suspect bottle. The police officer took one look at the label on the bottle and started to laugh out loud.

The immigrant became indignant and said, "What's so funny? Can't you see the label on bottle says 'Polish Remover'?"