TBD on Ning
Closure
I told you about my online frenemy of many years who was very ill. I haven't heard from him in a month. I just called his house( not something I did before except one time a few years ) and there was no answer and the greeting was generic. He was so ill that his last Emails contained many doubled letters and missing letters and he said he wanted his life back.
How does one get closure in a sitaution like this? He said I was on the list of people to be notified when he passed. I am almost ill from not knowing. There is no one I can call; I look up the obituaries and don't see his name. I don't Think I will ever know for sure.
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by crestofwaves on
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We talked almost every day for six years since he got kicked off Eons, except when we were angry at one another for some stupid ideology.
This getting old is surely not easy. Impending death is not easy. I hope he is cured and went off to Paris, but I just wish I knew either way. He would be my first really close friend to die since 1991 when I lost someone to Hodgkins.
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Permalink Reply by Wayne Goodwin on
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Gee , wish i had someone to talk too every day . I surely can under stand how you feel .
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Online, Wayne. We talked online. You have US to talk to everyday. What are we? Chopped liver?
And, I guess as with everything, life goes on. But I am very sad.
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More like ribeyes . I meant like on skype or a messenger where you talk one to one dressed ....
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Permalink Reply by Mickchick on
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Do you know his address? You can ask the local PD to do a welfare check to make sure that he is okay and not laying in the house alone ...
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Oh, I know he would not be alone. He has a brother with whom he is close and a bunch of female friends since he is a widower. He also told me he had a woman taking care of him and the last meal he mentioned was butter chicken. He is a businessman in the community with lots and lots of acquaintainces, as well.
But thanks for the input, Mickchick. Once, on Eons, one of the members of a group I was in suffered from depression. For some reason, he used to confide in me, and one night told me he didn't think life was worth living anymore. We talked a bit, and I didn't like the things he was saying--I thought he really sounded very suicidal. I told the leader of the group, Flywacko, and he called the California police local to this man's home and had them check on him. He was fine, and wasn't angry that we did that. So I know about calling the police.
This is just one of those tough things people have to go through, I guess. I hope wherever my friend is, he's not suffering. And maybe he's ok. But I don't think so. I just needed somewhere to talk about his. It would not be suitable anywhere else. People don't understand about online connections. It's like non pet owners who think our grief over our pets is out of whack and say, "After all, it was only a dog..."
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Permalink Reply by ProblemAgain on
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for some of us that 'only a dog' is our family....
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I know. Even if we have family, that dog is our family.
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seems like a business opportunity with the growing prevalence of the internet. have a central registry with linked names to contact if and when....perhaps a small fee to register your name and the list of people you want told. and money made by ads and the ads could be all linked with insurance, the neptune society, funeral homes, cemetaries, medical malpractice lawyers
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Permalink Reply by Karin M Fichtner on
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I have two gentlemen I am in contact with on a somewhat regular basis. One I met on Eons seven years ago this next month....and one I met in '08 on Classmates. The Eons guy and I started out pming....then emailing....and now we talk on the phone almost once a week. I have spoken with the guy from Classmates a handful of times on the phone....but mostly we email back and forth. The Eons fella....David....lives in San Angelo, TX. The other gentleman, Robert, lives in Yakima, WA. David lives with his daughter and grandsons, so I know he isn't alone. Robert, however, lives alone. His son is in WA, but some distance away. He just spent some time in the hospital, and I didn't know until he got home. If he had died, no one would have notified me. In the case of David, however, he has left instructions with his family to call me if anything serious happens. He has a cranky kidney, and occasionally ends up in the hospital because of it. I care about this man. Another time...another place.....another life.....maybe we'd have had something. I may very well never meet him, but that doesn't mean he's not important to me. He's just as real to me as if we had been neighbors. I have many acquaintances...only a very few friends. I finally have upgraded Dave from acquaintance to friend. I can talk to him about anything. And last year...when I had the cancer scare...he was right there for me. And when the biopsy came back clear...he shed happy tears for me. And I cried with him when his grandson commited suicide. It's crazy how attached we can get to an online friend. I actually had a gentleman I was talking to on Eons who surprised the heck out of me one day and asked me if I would move to his state and live with him! Platonically. I would have my own room....and I could share his pick-up truck. It really was a sweet offer....but my kids would have been seriously concerned about my sanity if I'd accepted the offer. Besides, I had way too much stuff to be able to keep it in one room. But when I declined....I lost his friendship......and I miss him. He always made me laugh.
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Permalink Reply by blithe spirit on
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Most of the friends I have gotten close to online, I have also actually met and have multiple ways to contact them and their familes...there are a couple however that if something happened to one of them I will mostly never know...they will just go away. It's one of my worst fears.
Crest..Hopefully some of his family or friend has that contact list and you will hear something.
My family calls my online friends my "imaginary" friends and has numbers for several of them to contact should the need arise. -
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I have had many imaginary friends over the years , still do . Some even in my home .. Most on Facebook ....
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