Hmm, wondering what folks think of this philosophy (if you can call it that)?

[T2Friends]

“If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn’t, it never was.”

[crestofwaves]

Totally true. We can try to hold on to people and even be successful at it, but I wouldn't want someone that way.

 

My daughter's friend had a boyfriend who cheated on her. They split up. She gave him his wings.  He did his thing, and she went crazy, but filled her life with other stuff.  He came back, asked her to marry him, they bought a house, she is having a baby ( the only thing missing is the marriage, but whatever).

 

When a person voluntarily seeks me out, then I know I mean something to that person.

[frenchy]

i think its true too .. you can't hold someone against their will ..unless you have a lotta rope .. 

[Karin M Fichtner]

I thought it was, "If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it's yours; if it doesn't.....hunt it down and kill it!" 

Maybe I didn't hear it right, ya think? 

[Snagg]

On the other hand....A few years ago, my daughter told me that her mother told her that she still "loves" me.

(This is the woman who ran up $60,000 in cash advances on credit cards I didn't know existed and that she had forged my name on the application forms. The woman who threw a fit on a public street in New Orleans when I spent $20 on used CD's half of which were for her, screaming "YOU SPENT ALL OUR MONEY !!!" - A fit she threw when it was revealed that she had spent $600 (our remaining vacation budget, with two more days to go) on utter shit, touristy crap and every bit of it for herself - Nothing for me or for our daughter. The woman who cleaned our daughter's college fund out and lashed it all up her nose, and then told our daughter that it was MY fault for not putting more money than she could snort into the account. The woman whose own marriage counsellor stood up in the middle of a session, turned to me and said "She's INSANE. Get as far away from her as you possibly can.")

Our daughter told me that she still "loved" me and was open to the idea of a reconciliation. I told her "Yeah, she "loves" me - Like Hitler "loved" Europe. Nobody ALIVE needs that kind of "love", kiddo."

Does it count as being "set free" when you had to claw and scrape and fight every inch to get away from the person who sees themselves as "setting you free" ?

[dwalt]

Or a lot of money...

[Mickchick]

I agree - to me, if I have to hold on tight to someone, or they feel the need to hold on tight to me, there is a lack of trust to say the least as well as a problem with not having enough of whatever to bind us together.  Sooner or later, we're going our separate ways anyway - better soon than later...

[Lifesighs]

If someone wants to be somewhere else, thats where I want them to be too. Sometimes you try to set someone free and they refuse to go, it's complicated.

Sometimes you set someone free and they come back but you don't want them back.

[ProblemAgain]

[T2Friends]

I think I have always bought into this and agree.  You can't make someone love you, so if you have to hold them too tight, you might as well let them go.  It is sad that they don't know what they had until it is gone.  But then, what will be will be, right?  Such is life.