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Speciel Friends

Ladies & Gents , Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can share thoughts with . That you can't with your partner , husband , wife ?

Would your partner understand , approve or be offended ?

Could be a dumb question ???

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Permalink Reply by crestofwaves on August 17, 2013 at 6:10pm

I talk politics and business with a person of the opposite sex. Have for years. My husband kind of knows, but I don't talk about it all the time because I don't want my husband to feel threatened,

Permalink Reply by Karin M Fichtner on August 17, 2013 at 6:46pm

I don't have a husband or even an SO (Gawd, I hate that term!) so I can talk to any male friend I want to. I have two, actually.....Andy, in Illinois, and Dave, in Texas. Andy is an old friend (we go back about 32 years) that I am on the phone with a couple of times a week. He came all the way down here to pick my up to take me home for my Christmas visit last year. I spent a day with him when I was up there this summer. We cooked dinner together. I'm teaching him how to cook.

Dave is a friend from Eons. I have mentioned him here before. We've never met in person, but we're on the phone at least once a week, and tell each other pretty much everything. He went through my cancer scare with me, and I helped him get through his grandson's suicide. I think he's a real friend, and I don't give that title to just anyone.

Permalink Reply by Lifesighs on August 17, 2013 at 7:14pm

My husband is secure, he doesn't mind if I have male friends. I talk with whom ever I want about what ever I want.

Permalink Reply by Mickchick on August 17, 2013 at 8:12pm

I can talk to anyone about anything, but I wouldn't talk to anyone of the opposite sex about anything I couldn't talk to my SO/spouse about.

Permalink Reply by uno,dos,3 on August 18, 2013 at 3:03am

It's interesting........to me if a person is married they ought not to share personal matters, especially of the type they can't discuss with their spouse, with a member opposite sex. I would find something like that as threatening as sexual infidelity.

Unmarried people are basically responsible to themselves......married people should have additional boundaries.

Permalink Reply by Mickchick on August 18, 2013 at 7:45am

Wow - I'm actually in agreement with you for once, lol! I extend it to people in relationships, too, though, not just marriage. If I'm in a committed relationship with someone, I think there's a problem if there's an area I can't discuss with him, and going to another man to discuss that issue or topic ... just doesn't feel right to me, though I would certainly discuss it with friends of the same sex. And I definitely wouldn't discuss personal matters with a member of the opposite sex under those circumstances.

Permalink Reply by Wayne Goodwin on August 18, 2013 at 7:44am

Patricia ya said much to what i meant . I could always talk to my Grandma about things and she would listen . Never could talk to mom like that . Have always been able to talk to women but for some reason it isn't the same talking to men . I have a friend that lives around 100 miles from me . We used to talk to one another on cam . She knew more about me than i knew myself . Sure miss it ...

Permalink Reply by frenchy on August 18, 2013 at 9:31am

well , i'm a pretty easy person to talk to for the most part and there are a lot of women that i find attractive that i can talk to without doin anything that would get either of us into any trouble .. and if i do or don't have a lover in the picture it wouldn't matter .. even tho i'm pretty open i still know where the line is .. i may dance around it and tease and joke but in the end i know where i'm supposed to be .. and i can keep a secret . if someone tells me somethin and i'm not supposed to tell anyone .. i don't .. i do like communicatin with people .. even if we don't always agree .. how can you truly understand someone if you don't talk to each other .. friends are people you still talk to even tho you don't always agree .. and i have a few of them that are of the opposite sex .. and i always will .. and i don't share every little thing i talk about with my partner .. if its a conversation that doesn't include her then why drag her in ?? i don't try to hide anything either tho .. she knows i talk to other women and i'll even tease her about it a little bit but she knows where i am so she don't make any waves about it ..she knows i'm kiddin .. on the other hand i try not to do it at length under her nose .. its a delicate balance and so far no problems .. i'm sure if i was a different type of guy it could get sticky tho.. or if she was a different type of girl ..

Permalink Reply by crestofwaves on August 18, 2013 at 9:37am

Connections are made--that can't be helped. I don't believe that every mate has to know every single thing the other mate talks or thinks about. I have female friends that I share things with that I also would never tell my husband.

At least our minds can be our own in a relationship. We give everything else to it.

The thing I try to remember is feelings happen. Only behavior can be controlled, not the feelings, and behavior is the rein that prevents problems. Integrity. We're not babies. We don't just do things on impulse. When people say things "just happened," I don't believe it so much. We choose to make "things happen" or not to make things happen.

But feelings? Connections of the brain? I do think they just happen. They are a gift from the universe no matter what the gender... or species.

Speciel Friends

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