THE DARWIN AWARDS

[LoveLife&Laughter]

• As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

 

• The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

 

 

• When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had. 

Remember...They walk among us !

[Dennis Barsten]

Crooks do funny things...

[LoveLife&Laughter]

So do Republicans, but then...

[Dennis Barsten]

Ah the old saying "all politicians are crooks"...hmmm....

Only when they get caught...LOL

[LoveLife&Laughter]

Some how, "All" doesn't cut it for me.   TeaBaggers are trying to claim the "What if this or that" scandal is a worse scandal then Watergate, where a sitting President orchestrated a felony burglary to steal information to win an election, AND The Iran Contra Affair, combined, where a sitting President secretly facilitated the sale of arms to Iran, the subject of an arms embargo.  Some U.S. officials also hoped that the arms sales would secure the release of hostages and allow U.S. intelligence agencies to fund the Nicaraguan Contras. Under the Boland Amendment, further funding of the Contras by the government had been prohibited by Congress.

Then there is always the Swiftboating of John Kerry, the Valerie Plame Affair, the Dixie Chicks...  Democrats just can't compete with evil Republicans.

Meanwhile, I'd love to hear what the Benghazi Scandal is...

[Ioruach]

Thanks for reminding me about the Darwin Awards.  I sort of had forgotten about them.  Here is another:

27 February 2012, North Carolina) "It was just a freak incident," said an investigator, that caused the death of 43-year-old Gary Allen Banning. Gary was at a friend's apartment when he spotted a salsa jar containing a mystery fluid. Thinking that it was an alcoholic beverage, he helped himself to a sizeable swig of gasoline! Naturally enough, he immediately spit out the offending liquid onto his clothes. Then, to recover from the shock, Gary lit a cigarette.

Whoosh! Gas+Flame=Combustion.

Firefighters responded to calls reporting a fire in the apartment, and found a badly burned man sitting on a charred carpet. The following morning, Gasoline Gary died at the UNC Burn Center in Chapel Hill.

Two mistakes caused his death. The first mistake was minor: gulping a golden liquid from a salsa jar. Although Darwin Awards editors feel that a jar of yellow liquid is best left sealed, drinking its contents usually does not lead to combustion. But the second mistake--lighting up a cigarette to recover from the shock of taking a mouthful of gasoline--was a decision that an average five year old would consider questionable. As the late Bill Hicks said, "Darn, we lost another idiot."

Gary's friend was a mechanic and kept the jar of gasoline near the kitchen sink to remove grease from his hands.

[Dennis Barsten]

That's puffing the magic dragon...