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Man fakes own kidnapping to avoid girlfriend’s anger

Roll of duct tape (George Doyle/Thinkstock)Roll of duct tape (George Doyle/Thinkstock)

File this one under: bad ideas. A man faked his own kidnapping after a two-week absence in order to escape the anger of his girlfriend.

The New York Post reports that 36-year-old Rahmell Pettway of Brooklyn was away for two weeks. Upon returning, he staged a kidnapping scene.

Police found Pettway tied with duct tape in the middle of the street. Police questioned him, and he said that two men in a minivan kidnapped him on Feb. 19 and kept him tied up before dumping him. The role of tape was still attached to his wrists, a rather obvious clue that something was amiss with Pettway's story.

Eventually, Pettway admitted to the ruse and copped to filing a false report with the police. His explanation: He was scared of facing his special lady. It was unclear where he really was during the fake kidnapping.

A law enforcement source didn't hold back when speaking to the Post, dismissing the man as "a total moron." The source called the fake kidnapping "a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over the girlfriend's] eyes."

No word on her reaction to the fact that her boyfriend would rather lie to the police than tell her the truth.

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I would gather he might be the dullest knife in the drawer. I've known some strange happenings and heard some weird excuses and I still would not have bought this one. DUH!

"Don't pay the ransom, sugarcakes!! i got away from the kidnappers!! Save the $44.95!!"

(the other 5.05 was for ducktape)

awww shit .. and i was just on my way down to the hardware store for some more duct tape cause i ran out .. and this shithead screwed up my plan .. now i gotta think of somethin else .. its gettin harder all the time to get a few days away with shitheads like this gummin up the works .. it was a perfectly good plan too ..wasn't it ?? how could it go so wrong ...

I wonder if he has disappeared for weeks at a time before...what a dumbass, for sure.

"Hmmm" she mused..."why does he keep getting kidnapped? and why is he soooooo fing dumb to think i'm falling for it..i'm good as long as he doesn't find out about the poolboy? especially since we don't even have a pool....HAHAHAHAHAHA"

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