Age differences....does it matter??

[Suthinsoul]

Do you think a 13 year difference in age matters in a serious relationship???  This being the woman is the older one.  The man is 44 and the woman is 57.  I think it is more accepted when the man is the older.  However, if the woman is a young 57...do you think it's okay for her to "rob the craddle"?

[Julia A Knaake]

My first husband was 25 years older than I was and we got along fine for almost 22 years then he died from illness

my second husband was 20 years younger than me and we got along fine for 9 years then he died from an accident

we never had any problems from the age differences so I think age is just a number as it  is what you do together that really counts and it is NO ONE'S BUSINESS what your ages are...if they ask it is usually out of jealousy  of your fun

[flippr 2.0]

I gotta agree with you ,  I think age is just a number as it  is what you do together that really counts and it is NO ONE'S BUSINESS what your ages are.

[Suthinsoul]

Thank you Julia.  I use to think that age mattered and I find it doesn't really.  It's how you feel on the inside.  At the age I am now and being single I have dated all kinds of men and I find that there are some VERY old 50 yo men and some REALLY young 70 yo men and I think the same goes with women.  I am way younger than my age and younger men are stepping up and taking notice.  I doubt I'll ever be married again....that's not what I'm looking for, but it seems like the men my age and older are scared to death that the women out here are just trying to "snag" them so they avoid us like the plague.  Younger men, however are bold enough to pursue the woman they are attracted to unafraid.  Mind you, I don't want to "teach" anyone anything.  I just like having a friend who enjoys being with me and doesn't expect anything that I'm not willing to give.  I've had drama already, I'm looking for fun and simplicity.

[Woody Woods]

You go girl........it's all about how you feel. And I sure as hell don't feel 66. When asked my age I usually say........66 years on the planet, 40 year old body, 30 year old mind.......lol.

[mercerquietman]

I think it is totally up to those involved...with one caveat when it comes to marriage (cuz divorce is messy). If you are over 27, I think it is really unwise to marry someoneunder 21. I know there are mature 18 year olds and immature 25 year olds, etc. etc. It's been my experience those under 21 are more likely to leap before they look.

For me personally, I think whether or not the issue of raising kids is conceivable is a very important consideration. Let's say I met a 38 year old woman who was interested in maybe having kids yet. I don't think it is fair to the kid. All the dad things like playing catch, going on amusement rides, volunteering for coaching etc. etc. etc. is tougher to do when you are in your 60s.  I'd just want to be realistic.

[Suthinsoul]

I agree with you MQM.  When you are younger you have to be more careful because your goals in life are different.  I'm way past that now.  I don't want to get married nor do I want children.  I'm not talking about when we were all younger I'm thinking of now...in the present is it okay?  We are old enough to have already had the days of our youth....the marriages, the children, the drama.  Is it wrong of me now to just want a fun companion who is mutually attracted eventho there is a 13 year age difference?  I sure hope not...LOL!!!

[Woody Woods]

Of course it's OK. I've always believed that 2 adults over the age of 35 should know by then what makes them happy. It's always been acceptable for men to be older than women in relationships....even if the man is twice the age of the woman, like the man being 60 and the woman 30. I have no problem with it being the other way around. The woman 60 and the man 30. As a matter of fact, when I was younger I was always attracted to older women. When I was 23 I was dating a woman 30....but also at that time because she looked younger she would hardly ever tell her age.....lol. Plus many women today who are in their 50s, 60s, 70s are taking better care of themselves and many look and feel a lot younger than their age. I'm 66 and some time ago met a woman in her 70s, who I thought was in her 50s. She looked damn good to me.....lol. Ooooooops, maybe I shouldn't have said that....lol. If the chemistry is there, the love is there.....or even if the sexual attraction is there, I say go for it.............

[Dee Holland Eidson]

I think the age difference is in a persons mind.I broke up with a really great man because I could not be quiet about our age difference.He was so sweet and attentive.He complimented me all the time.I was just not sure if he would feel the same as the years passed by.I guess when he had to leave the country due to his job i was so insecure I drove us both crazy with my silly jealousy and constant dwelling on age.We decided to end our relationship.I really regret it.Its seems like I am always in a relationship with younger men.I am told I look very young.If I find another one like him I won't let go this time.I don't want to get married again.I guess I will cross that bridge when and if I get to it.Don't let age stand in your way enjoy each other.Its true age is just a number.

[Eaglewoman]

My sons wife is 17 years older than him. He was in his 20's and she was in her 40's when they married. They will be married 25 years this year. He has always been older acting, he was 3 going on 20. She is young looking and acting, they hunt, snowmobile and fish together.He always say age only matters in cheese and wine.

[Grandma Helen]

I see no reason to be concerned with age.  MQM made a good point though about children when the dad would be in his 60's at birth.  That is a concern.  Otherwise I don't see the reason to worry about it.  A friend of mine had a boyfriend for years that was 25 years younger than her.  The problem she had was when he became really ill and died, it was a shock to her, because they both figured she'd go first.  It worked for her and i think it would work for many of us   It all depends on your outlook on life.

[flippr 2.0]

my ma was 11 years older than my pop.  they were married 41 years.

[carol machulski]

My thoughts are in line with everyone else...it doesn't matter as long as they are comfortable together and share interests and feel that they want to be together. Why not..it's their choice.