TV PROGRAMS WE'D LOVE TO SEE

[Mark Joel Lane]

 

1. Private First Class Gomer Pyle is arrested for pimping during one of his extended unauthorized leaves of absence.

2.Carroll O'Connor replaces Buddy Ebsen of the Beverly Hillbillies in a new show titled "Oil In The Family".

3. Lassie is bitten by a rabid raccoon and as her condition deteriorates to an Old Yeller,Cujo  fate.Timmy is chosen by an eeny meeny miny moe process to shoot his beloved collie.

4. King Kong and Mighty Joe Young exchange wedding vows in Africa as same sex primate marriage is legalized.

5.The Jeffersons unknowingly crash a KKK party in Newark,NJ. and are never seen exiting the premises.

6. Patty Duke is discovered to be suffering from multiple personality delusions and realizes she is her cousin, Cathy Duke.

7. Mr. Spock exposes his elongated genitalia in this Star Trek episode as part of an obligatory Vulcan ritual.

8. Guest star Halle Berry shows up on the Ponderosa in this startling Bonanza episode  with DNA evidence that she is the illegitimate daughter of Ben Cartwright.

9. Wheel of Fortune celebrity player Andre The Giant spins the wheel so hard it flies off the stage decapitating several members of the astonished audience.

10. Dora The Explorer gets lost in the arctic tundra of Greenland . Her frozen remains are thawed out in an episode called "The Dorsicle."

11. Saddam Hussein guest hosts for Johnny Carson. The audience is held hostage until David Letterman stops doing his monologue at the Ed Sullivan Theater.

12. The final million dollar suit case in Deal or No Deal contains what Mensa viewers knew all along what this dumb show was....a bomb.

13.The Lone Ranger is unmasked to discover he is really the bi-polar  swordsman Zorro who forgot to take his lithium. Tonto is detained by Arizona authorities because he is an illegal immigrant.

 14. While sharing bedroom suites after a blizzard,the Brady Bunch and the Partridge family discover they all have the same biological parents and are siblings. Marcia realizes she must have an abortion immediately.

15. Doctor Marcus Welby is busted for selling hundreds of vicodin prescriptions to drug addicts and is  sentenced to ten years in prison by Judge Judy.

[CaliforniaNow]

I like the one with Andre the Giant.  So many of the others you can just wait for; they'll show up in some form in the near future.

As always - good one!

[Esoteric]

Excellent suggestions. And how about a show in which politicians are plied with truth drugs and so forced to lay bare their prejudices and also to give straight unambiguous answers?

[Lifesighs]

I would watch that Esoteric. What fun.

[Esoteric]

And what a novelty!