You're killing me Smalls.....

[Jaylee53]

This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!

 

http://youtu.be/nGeKSiCQkPw

 

 

 

I mean it...... :-)

[Bob Stepp]

[Aggie]

Reposting: This just in... Seismologists have determined that today's earthquake outside of DC was not the result of a fault line but rather the result of our founding fathers rolling over in their graves.

[TeeBubbaDee]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

 

Anybody can roast beef.

 

[Aggie]

I know some people who cannot roast beef.  I even offered to get them a oven.

[TeeBubbaDee]

I'm guessing these people don't buy one of your Ladies.

[Aggie]

My Ladies are not for sale only their first born each year.

 

[TeeBubbaDee]

I'm just hoping you can keep your ladies through this drought. I got my fingers... err paws...err hooves crossed your you and your Ladies.

[Daddieo]

Back in the early days when there were still daily trains from Burlington to most everywhere, there were two old ladies who rode the train every Saturday from Burlington to Boston. They would nod to one another but rode in separate cars and never spoke. One day, when the train was crowded, they both happened to sit together. And one says to
the other, "I've seen you ride this train every Saturday afternoon to Boston and I've always wondered about it. What do you do in Boston?"
The other replied, "Why, I go into Boston to get scrod because I can't get it in Burlington." 

The first lady said, "You know, I've been a schoolteacher for 30 years and I never knew what the past tense of that
verb was."

[TeeBubbaDee]

[TeeBubbaDee]

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

[Aggie]

Repost from Aggie, Longhorns and everything Texas:

A very gentle Texas lady was driving across the Pecos High Bridge in Texas one day.
As she neared the middle of the bridge‚ she noticed a young man fixin' to jump (means 'getting ready to' in Texas ).
She stopped her car‚ rolled down the window and said‚ "Please don't jump!!!
Think of your dear mother and father!!!"

He replied‚ "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."

She said‚ "Well‚ think of your wife and children!!!"

He replied‚ "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said‚ "Well‚ Remember the Alamo!!!"

He replied‚ ''What's the Alamo?''

She replied‚ ''Well‚ bless your heart‚ just go ahead and jump‚ you dumb Yankee!!!"

[Bob Stepp]