STUPID CROOKS HALL OF FAME!... PART 11

[Letha Robinson]

Dave so-and-so of Anniston, Alabama, was injured recently after he attempted to replace a tubelike fuse in his Cheby pickup with a 22-caliber rifle bullet (used because it was a perfect fit). However, when electricity heated the bullet, it went off and shot him in the knee.

Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn’t need a warrant because of a “bulge” in Christopher’s jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

Kentucky (where else?): Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.

South Carolina: A man walked into a local police station, dropped a bag of cocaine on the counter, informed the desk sergeant that it was substandard cut, and asked that the person who sold it to him be arrested immediately.

Indiana: A man walked up to a cashier at a grocery store and demanded all the money in the register. When the cashier handed him the loot, he fled–leaving his wallet on the counter.

England: A German “tourist,” supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a “handicap” is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does–backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.

Germany: Oil of Olay no longer turning the trick for her, a woman decided that she would bathe in the milk of a camel (a modern-day Cleopatra). So she stole a camel from the local zoo (where *else* can you find a camel when you need one?) and transported it back to her house–where she realized that the camel’s name was “Otto.”

Arizona: A company called “Guns For Hire” stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. She got 4-1/2 years in jail.

Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence. For payment, he provided the court a check–a *forged* check. He got 10 years.

(Location Unknown): A man went into a drug store, pulled a gun, announced a robbery, and pulled a Hefty-bag face mask over his head–and realized that he’d forgotten to cut eyeholes in the mask.

(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank after hours and stole–are you ready for this?–the bank’s video camera. While it was recording. Remotely. (That is, the videotape recorder was located elsewhere in the bank, so he didn’t get the videotape of himself stealing the camera.)

(Location Unknown): A man successfully broke into a bank’s basement through a street-level window, cutting himself up pretty badly in the process. He then realized that (1) he could not get to the money from where he was,(2) he could not climb back out the window through which he had entered, and (3) he was bleeding pretty badly. So he located a phone and dialed “911″ for help …

Virginia: Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck–so they abandoned it.

(Location Unknown): A man walked into a Circle-K (a convenience store similar to a 7-11), put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled– leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.

 

[darroll]

Brilliant.

[Chez moi]

Lots of fun, Letha. They never stop trying, do they?

How about this one?

[Letha Robinson]

How horrible! That is taking snorting toooo far!! lol

[Chez moi]

*chuckle snort*

[darroll]

When a man attempted to
siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much
more

than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill
man

curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police
spokesman said


that the man admitted to trying to steal Gasoline and plugged his
siphon

hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
vehicle


declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd

ever had.

[Letha Robinson]

Now thats a good one. Crime doesn't pay. How disgusting! But good for the thief!! LOL

[darroll]

A few years ago in Seattle. A rapist snuck in a girls bedroom to rape her.
She grabbed him by the you know what. She pulled him to the nightstand, grabbed a gun and tried to shoot it off.
She missed but left bullet holes in the guys legs.

[Letha Robinson]

Good for her! She Should've shot it off!! lol

[stillgoing]

Probably too small to be a good target. ...LOL

[Letha Robinson]

You're probably right, Stillgoing! lol

[Aggie]

Great, thank you Letha!

[Letha Robinson]

You're welcome, Aggie!