Are you lonesome?

[Jaylee53]

Or... Are you lonely?

Is there a fine line between the two...?
I'm trying to figure out why I don't like holidays.  I think I live my life vicariously through others sometimes...You know the drill...
It's such and such  time of year....gather with  all  your friends and relatives and have a wonderful time!!!
Quite frankly I have no "all " around me to speak of.
 My kids are estranged from each other..not from me though...I see them on a separate basis and I have no relatives here.
I do admit I like my "alone" time.  I'm good company for me...I keep myself amused.  I have never been too needy in a social way.
I also like company...to have someone to talk with...be quiet with...to share a meal..
This isn't a pity party....just a reflective moment...

[Stir Young]

I guess I'm hard wired to be a solo operator. I do have a pretty close knit family, I have a lot of good friends and I socialize well. I'm very self sufficient though, and sometimes have a hard time integrating others into my plans and actions. I seems to work for me. Tomorrow morning I'll drive down to Lansing to attend a picnic and see some old friends. I missed it last year, and I'm looking forward to attending, but I'm also gonna leave early Monday morning to come back home.

[Bob Stepp]

[Stir Young]

Thats a beautifuly written song.......Hank Sr has always been a big favorite of mine. His songs really came from the heart and soul.

[One Life]

Very nice picture, Jaylee. Holidays are the hardest, but I have grown use to the concept of being alone.

[d's girl]

Yes, very nice picture, Jaylee. '-)

[d's girl]

Although I'm a social creature, I spend a lot of time on my own, & I enjoy it. I'm an only child of an only child. No siblings, no cousins, no aunts & uncles. I didn't grow up in close proximity of either set of grandparents. So I've ALWAYS spent a lot of time on my own. Even when I was married, my husband traveled extensively, so again I was on my own a lot.
My guy & I laugh about a line from a song by The Black Crowes.... "she tells you she's an orphan, after you meet her family." haha
Since my husband & I split up, I do feel a little odd sometimes when I don't have plans on holidays. I think it's what you describe - a social or cultural imposition placed upon us. It isn't a big deal to me; just an oddness, you know? I actually am cooking this weekend. A nice meal for my next door neighbors who are moving away. But it's more of a thing I'm doing to make life easier for them; not something I'm particularly looking forward to for my own enjoyment. It will be interesting to see how my guy & I carve out new plans & holidays & traditions when we come together in the same town soon.

[Jaylee53]

((((((HUGS)))))) Not much more to say to your response dear Tay.....

[Quinn]

Jaylee, your question is so timely…
I have been struggling for the last two years with the estrangement of my family and the last few weeks have been especially difficult.
My Mother was diagnosed with cancer three years ago and died two years ago. My oldest brother had predeceased her; my youngest sister was battling her own cancer. One other sister and two brothers backed away and left me to be the sole caretaker to my Mother.
I was her Power of Attorney as well as executrix of her estate. I had heard horror stories of other families and swore that would never happen to my family. It did and it was uglier than I could have possibly imagined. We didn’t speak at all for a little over six months and then I tried to bridge the gap. We speak occasionally, but our interactions seem so hollow. It’s taking its toll on me and the last few weeks have me questioning whether or not there is anything worth salvaging or if I should just cut my losses and move on.
It’s left me feeling very lonely and sad lately, I haven’t been feeling very social which probably complicates the lonely feeling…aarrgghhhhhhhh :-)
In addition, my father died on the fourth of July a number of years ago. Perhaps because of the disconnect with my remaining family members, I am missing him more than usual this year.

[Bob Stepp]

Quinn....
.....to you, my Friend..........((((((((you)))))))

[Jaylee53]

Just a little (((hug))) for you dear Quinn....
We never know what hand will be dealt to us from day to day... Life can be a bitch....then again, it can be wonderful....I have learned to find my " wonderful" in the small things....a smile...a thank you...a sweet cat purring in my lap....the hug from someone who means it.... The rest will shake out as it's meant.....not always sweet...sometimes a bitter taste.... I do know that in the end I will take the best with me....and leave the best.

[P.A.]

I have always been somewhat of a loner but there are times when I want to be around people. I like to chose my times but that is not always possible especially since I have been a widower. Today I am meeting a friend for lunch because I did not want to spend the day alone. But many days that is just what I want to do.

[Chez moi]

I can get what you are saying, LJ. Thank you for expressing it so honestly. This is how we get to know one another, within the limits of this medium.

Yes, I'm an introvert as well, though I have worked to overcome it most of my life. I enjoy time spent with friends, but I need to push myself out into company lately. Sort of in the doldrums, which is not the same as down in the dumps.

It is too easy to stay alone and do my own little projects; I love my own company. I don't feel lonesome or even lonely; I feel alone. It's very different. I don't wish for company when I don't have it; I can always find someone who enjoys my presence. But I do have the odd feeling that if I slipped out of sight there would be no ripple.

This is a good discussion, Jaylee, and your photo expresses perfectly what you were saying. I think the thing I like about this site is that there is always someone to make a quick little contact with when you need it, and then you can go back to yourself. It satisfies something in me that I didn't know I needed until I found it.