My Favorite Parrot Joke Ever!!

[MikeMoff]

A lady is walking down the street to work and sees a parrot in a pet store. She stops to admire the bird. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot upon seeing her says, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day on the way to work she saw the same parrot and once again it said, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so furious that she stormed into the store and threatened to sue the store and have the bird killed. The store manager apologized profusely and promised the bird wouldn't say it again. The next day, when the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused, scowled with an icy and deadly stare, and said with a hoarse voice, "Yes?" The bird, strutting back and forth on its perch in a cocky manner, said, "You know."

[Tina]

This is perfect! I know about those stares! Very cute, thank you for that!

[MikeMoff]

I am glad you liked it!

[Thomas William Farquhar]

Q: Why are there no headache pills available in zoos?
A: Because parrots eat `em all (parcetemol)!

[Lobo]

My favorite parot joke: A lonely lady decided to purchase a pet to cheer her up and provide some company. She went down to the local pet store and told the proprietor of her decision and asked what kind of pet would be best for her. The store owner said, "What you need, Lady, is a parrot. A parrot, like this one here, will talk and sing all day long. It will be like having another person living with you."
The woman quickly agreed with the owner, purchased the parrot and took it home. She set up the cage and then waited to see what happened. The parrot said nothing. Every day she talked to it but the bird remained as silent as the paint on the walls.
Finally she got fed up and went back to the pet store. The owner, recognizing the woman, walked up and asked how the parrot was doing. She quickly informed him that the parrot was not talking at all.
The owner asked her if she had a mirror for the parrot to look at. "The parrot sees himself in the mirror and gets all excited and starts talking to himself. We have plenty of mirrors right here."
This seemed sensible to the woman so she picked out a mirror, took it home and put it in the bird cage and waited to see how the parrot would react.
A week later she was back at the store, madder than ever. When the owner came over she said, "I bought that mirror just like you said and the parrot still doesn't talk!"
"Do you have a ladder?" the owner asked.
"A ladder? she questioned.
"Yeah, a ladder. The parrot sees himself in the mirror, climbs up and down the ladder showing off his stuff and then starts talking up a storm. We have ladders here."
The woman picked out a ladder, and went home. A week later she was back even madder than before. "I bought that stupid ladder and he still won't talk!"
"Do you have a swing? The parrots play on the swing, gets all happy, looks in the mirror and then struts on the ladder. Once he dos that he won't stop talking!"
"This better work," she said, "or I'm briging that stupid bird back!"
Three days later she returned to the store. "The stupid bird died!" she said.
"He died?" he repeated. "Did he say anything defore he died?"
"Yes," she said.
"Well,what'd he say?"
He said, "Doesn't that pet store have any bird food?"