I didn't really turn into a can of orange juice. But I did warn my kids about drugs by telling them that I knew someone who resided in a sanitarium who thought he was a jar of orange juice. You could actually carry on a semi-literate conversation until you started to leave his room and then he would tell you 'Don't forget to screw my cap on tightly before you go' .
My wife told me she was like a fine wine, improving with age. I pointed out that for wine to improve with age, that it must be tightly corked.
She hit me over the head with a wine bottle.
I've been depressed ever since Bosom Buddies was cancelled.
I've been depressed ever since I couldn't touch Bosom Buddies.
I think they were guys dressed up as women. Feeling better now?
Good. Now we can move on to how Petticoat Junction was about as exciting as heating up baked beans.
Did you know that Uncle Joe had the only telephone between Hooterville and Pixley? (course ya can't use it cause it ain't hooked up)
Blackjack and hookers.
Hard to define my story, but it isn't Sleeping Beauty.