TBD on Ning


We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us
that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'enough
motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the
largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his
head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2
was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than

We haven't used Sears repair since.


My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave
the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way
you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the
manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back
the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.


I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING
sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out
here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .


My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He
smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.


The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as she
was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word
was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare..

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not
turn on..

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.


When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side. This

was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS


When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the
Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was
parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove
from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the
Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said, "Cool"!

They walk among us... they REPRODUCE.......... and they vote

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I work with most of them. The rest are family.
Karen, I didn't you worked at this place or that we were related.

LOL! Funny!!
I did the same, when I first read it.
Male idiot:

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
The garage door one reminds me....

We sold our little farmhouse in rural IN to a suburban couple. A few days after closing, we got a call from our real estate agent telling us that he'd heard from the couple and that they were livid that we hadn't left them the garage door openers, that they wanted to be able to get their car into the shed/garage, and that we'd better mail them the opener or they'd start some sort of legal proceedings.

We told him to tell them to pull up on the handle of the garage door, walk inside, and look up to see if they saw a motor.

It was a manual door.
We were having problems with the new receiver that came with our Dish/DirecTv subscription and requested a tech come out and look at it . He took one look at the unit and informed me that it had to be turned on in order to work . Duh ! I mentioned that we had turned it off when it stopped working . He insisted that that was the problem .
Letha, thank you for the Monday morning laugh!!! I haven't stopped laughing yet and I bet I'll still be laughing for the rest of the day, everytime I think of one of these!!! Thanks.
You're very welcome.
Very fun Letha, The only sad part is that some of these ring as true! LoL
You're absolutely right!

oh, my gosh! I was looking for something else & came across this thread & got such a laugh out of it!

Thank you, Letha! (over 2 years later! '-)




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