TBD on Ning

I always thought how lucky women are to have a man who can sing to them and play an instrument beautifully.  But then I think that person might love his music more than me, which is a possibility. And my ideal dream mate must have ME at the center of his universe, but not too much, lol, as to smother. 


The best times my husband and I have always have to do with our shared love of music, but he doesn't play an instrument and has sung songs like "long haired country boy."


Is it possible to quantify what we want in a mate?  Is it just chemistry and you take the good with the bad?


Any clue?

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i'm 55 and have no clue what women want,i thought I knew,boy,was I wrong.

Right now i would just like a companion . The Sexual part is just out of the question . I would have wanted a woman that made me feel wanted . Not just married . I have never felt that way after my first love . She gave me a feeling of liking me for me . Never felt that with the woman i married . Loving someone is easy . Keeping that love is a work in progress , me thinks .

ehh.. you cain't always git what you wonnnt .. 

there's a story here for sure ..

goin back some years i had this thing for karla bonoff .. probably still do .. somethin about a woman who can sing and play the guitar is like an aphrodesiac for me for sure .. and then one day i'm in a music store and in walks this girl who looked so much like karla .. i was smitten just like i was hit by lightning .. so we talked for awhile and i told her how much she looked like karla bonoff and she'd never heard of her . she was there to have a guitar lesson .. so because i came to the mall with my sister i had to leave with her .. so when she popped her head in the door and said time to load up i had to go .. but all the way home i kept thinkin i'll never see that girl again .. i mean come on if i never saw her before and i was about 30 i didn't wanna wait another 30 years in the hope that i might run across her again .. so when i got home i called the music store and asked to talk to the girl takin the guitar lesson .. had to do some fast talkin so she wouldn't hang up but in brief i told her look i've never seen you before and we probably won't ever meet again but if you agree to meet me just for a cup of coffee i'll tell you what i'm thinkin .. and she agreed .. seemed like some kinda romantic comedy right ?? uhh.. no .. comedies can sometimes turn to tragedies .. this was one of them times .. all the time she's thinkin i'm married and that my sister was my wife and lexi my niece was my daughter .. when all the truths came out it was actually her who was married and had a little boy .. but she was lonely and waqsn't gettin the attention she needed at home yada yada yada .. and i fell for it all hook line and sinker .. and wouldn't ya know it karla had a song about that very thing .. told from a girls perspective  but either way the end result was the same .. i found it on youtube and the words are there too .. but i think its in japanese english cause they keep puttin the word live where the word leave should be and it changes the entire meanin .. but other than that .. it tells the story pretty well..so anyway .. you can't always get what you want .. sometimes you can love .. but you lose again .. anyway .. and sometimes more than once .. it does sound good on paper tho .. theoreticly and all .. 


Pretty song , I like it ...

Wow. Simple but intense song.

Have you never seen someone that you were instantly attracted to only to know you'll never see that person again and couldn't do anything about it anyway.  All these people, all the "might have beens" are floating around out there.


Yes, however, sometimes one might (despite one's knowing to the contrary) see them forty years later in a rare case and say, "Thank God that didn't happen." But yes in a way we are like the meteorites and asteroids in the silence of space, occasionally bumping into each other and sometimes a collision occurs which destroys both objects or sends them off into different trajectories, or gravitational attraction slowly binds them into one while the universe grinds on not even noticing. Alternative universes are always useful for those melancholic meanderings our minds sometimes (especially now in the dark time of the Sun's retreat) do and one always wonders how much is determinism and how much is our choice. I won't start a new thread for the "Thank God that didn't happen" category but people perhaps have something like that also, the anti-mate category. What do you not want?

that was one of them times cresty and i didn't figure out what to do till i got home .. lucky for me she was still there and i knew she was takin a guitar lesson .. or would that be unlucky ??? we ended up havin this year long affair that was like a roller coaster ride .. but i finally got to a point where i didn't want that anymore so i moved back to jersey .. asked her to come and she said she would .. but she never did . the whole thing made me feel so .. wrong .. and guess what .. karla had a song for that too .. told from a womans perspective but again just change the gender and its the same .. trouble again .. 

I will have to contemplate this question.  If I was to get one of those build your own mate kits, what attributes and abilities would I give it/her/whatever? To start, she would not be inclined toward having a cat, must have good hygiene habits, literate, progressive in politics, and I will work on the rest incase I want to run an an on Craig's List.

This would be an impossible undertaking, I've come as close as it's possible to get so I'm good.

Someone who looks good but not so good you would worry every moment they're out there, (kind of hard to accomplish already) a great intelligence, hard working but not workaholic, has a great sense of humor not the type who would laugh at bathroom jokes but a wry wit humor. I wouldn't need him to play a musical instrument but he would love music and love to dance. A huge requirement would be someone who really likes women, likes being around them and of course unselfish in bed. A nice asset would be liking to cook occasionally. He would have to appreciate nature and like to take long drives and would sing along to the music. Someone who likes to have fun every day not some grouchy stick in the mud.

I could go on and on but that is a good summery of my dream mate.

Yeah, I had mine for about 3 and a half years before he died of cancer. He used to wait for me to wake up in the middle of the night so we could talk and we'd make each other laugh until maybe 4am. He made me feel more loved than I had ever and will ever be again. Of that I have no doubt. And everytime the cat chases his tail and romps through the house I know he's here again somehow. The cat was totally depressed for years after he passed away and still won't lay on his back for anyone else and allow them to rub his belly. Animals size people up faster than people do. Jack is an excellent judge of character. Diamonds and roses. He said he would never give me a divorce and when he was dying and the cancer had reached his bones he suffered silently and confided that he was bargaining with God that I would never know such pain. He said I finally met my dream girl and now I'm dying. A big lovesick Navy SEAL. Honestly, does it get any better than that?

Oh, Merry.  You brought tears to my eyes with your story of love and loss. And it doesn't get any better than what you described.

Damn cancer!




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