The Men's Rules--A response to SandraDee's 'How to love a woman' Thread!

[HAVE_A_HEART]

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.

Finally, the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good).

We always hear 'the rules' from the female side, so here now are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday is for Sports! It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Just let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. (Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.)

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.

1. If YOU think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, PLEASE say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, NOT a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit, and we have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched...We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. (We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.)

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or motor sports.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


-----------------------------------
Thank you for reading this.


Now that we understand each other, do you wanna do it?

[KarenSme]

Oh shut up. We know all this. You just need to change.

And no, I have a headache from your outburst.

Oh boy...

[HAVE_A_HEART]

Are u cyberly telling me 'Not tonight Dear--I have a headache'?

[darroll]

Heart,
True, but good luck Buddy.

LMAO

[Mother Sanity (JackieRodzinski)]

I love it! Finally, a brother in the fellowship of Sanity. I hope we can be friends! JackieRodzinski (MotherSanity)

[HAVE_A_HEART]

Of course we can be friends Jackie!! do u wanna do it??

[larry kremis]

You're not married are you H A H? I like scary movies and scary novels. I've never read anything as scary as this. I'm still sssssshivering.

[Brian]

My favorite is #1. Oh. I guess that needs elaboration, doesn't it? I meant THIS #1: "If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one."
So much unnecessary grief could be prevented....