The best layoff letter

[Saltie]

Dear Employees:
As the CEO of this organzation, I have resigned myself to
the fact that Barrack Obama is our Oresident and that our taxes and government
fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But, since we cannot increase our prices
right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty
employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are
family here and i did'nt know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is
what I did. I walked through the parking lot and found 60 obama bumper stickers
on our employees cars and have decideed these folks will be the ones to let go.
I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for
change....So i gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company
picnic.

[Saltie]

Bingo lorouch. Some can read it and know it's humor, others read it and there heads start spinning.

[ProblemAgain]

You know you're a Redneck if:

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly Swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think the "nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your Father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 worth of Improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on Jury Duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

[ProblemAgain]

what? gee willikers, that's the same humorous spirit....but it might feel a little different if you have to wear those shoes. and by the way...under that cute little bullshit letter you posted is a LOT of anger if anyone else has noticed

[The Dyslexic Dodger]

" Some can read it and know it's humor, others read it and there heads start spinning."

                                                                                                      Saltie

Good luck trying to slither uot of passing crap off as true. Sort of a duoble weasel atempt.

[Merry]

My older sis voted for Obama the first time, not sure but I don't think she voted for Romney this time around and the younger one voted for Romney and McCain. When Sue's car died, Cathy lent her a car to use to get to work since she's a potter and works out of her home. We just don't have the animosity some people have about voting. We're close and we talk and listen and it works ,sometimes there's tension about it but it doesn't seem to get in the way of helping each other out.

[Lifesighs]

Some of my friends have different political views, however they won't buy into the totally ridiculous crap being promoted dissing women and education. The far far right stuff that seems to promote rape and gives up on science.

For those listening to Fox and Limbaugh, might as well hang up your brain cause you're not using it.

Conservatism is fine if you can distance yourself from crap which is where the party is speeding.

[Merry]

I think we're just struggling to get through the recession. It's hard to be passionate about politics these days. It's a lot easier to get passionate about all the different varieties of tomatoes I plan on growing in the summer to help feed hungry people around here. See, as long as I believe in a multi-party system , I respect another's right to be wrong. To have their own perspective on life. To bring different perspectives to the table. The security of my own right to have an opinion rests in the ability of another's right to have one, however short sighted and flawed. I think that all the years that China put into a single party system have come to fruition and that they are a major military machine but human life isn't worth much there. I didn't vote for Obama, he simply didn't see the recession coming and how difficult his tasks would be. I did see the recession coming since maybe 2004. That's around the time that IBM in VT started to falter and I told my boyfriend at the time who was happy about it because the bmers looked down on the union guys that worked with their hands at IBM that it was a bad sign of a major recession to come.

And this time , I didn't vote period and I'll tell you why. Hillary didn't run. And there wasn't a moderate candidate that I felt reflected my beliefs, whose judgement I trust. And then there's an element in both major parties that wants to make others pay dearly for their beliefs. It doesn't seem to occur to them that this is America and we're not supposed to agree about everything.

[Merry]

I think it's amusing that the radio station that has Fox news on it and Rush and Hannity and Howie Carrrrrrrrrr on it , has also got some of THE MOST bizarro, out there wingnut programs about UFOs and leprechauns. Just weird stuff on it. And then you get to listen to Fox News. Hilarious really.

[ProblemAgain]

that's because it is the same base of listeners...if you believe fox news, you probably believe in conspiracies and alien abductions, et al

[Merry]

Howie Carr has shingles btw. I did listen to his replacement Michelle talk about whether or not women should have conceal and carry permits. It's sort of obvious that the gun lobby is paying her to talk. Ultimately I came to the conclusion that the only people who should have them are people who are uber trained. She thought Salazar's comments about women not being responsible enough to conceal and carry is sexist. And no one mentioned that a rapist can also be a carrier of H.I.V. In which case what amount of force is appropriate?

[Saltie]

The great uninformed always attack Fox news. They are to me more reliable than MSNBC that actually changes the content of their news to reflect their own views. I'm sure I won't get an answer but I'll ask problen anyway. Can you name one lie or fals report that Fox put out. The far left attack Fox yet never listen to it or know anything about it. Just parrots for what they hear on MSNBC.

Ever wonder why Fox has the largest viewership of all the cable news shows? Problem you can take that as question #2.

Seems very appropriate that you are called PROBLEM

 

[ProblemAgain]

congratulations....you have just jumped the fence...instead of addressing the subject, you make it personal. i don't have to trot out the entire list of fox fuckups.i think most people with functioning brains know at least a smattering of them...suffice it to say in roger ailes' own words: "we are in the entertainment business, not the news business" and that also answers question number 2...stupid people like blood and gore better than dry facts...and that is also reflected in their programming..