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I got a problem. Yes, and I do not know how to approach it. I got a new computer about three weeks ago, and I have been the only person to use it, with the exception--of the chidrens father who ask to use it to check his email one afternoon. I was just flicking through the google sites last night as I have been looking up some things on the girlfriend that lost her son. I saw something that looked very strange--I clicked on the link--bingo--it was a link to porn of girls just over 18 doing it all. I am disturbed that this old man that is 71 is looking at this trash of children yonnger than his grandchild.

He had gone so far as to put this city in, and other things on the site.

 

Is this normal?

 

Help

Tags: do, help, what

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Yes to 1, although my siblings and I fought like tigers I'm told. No to 2,3, and 4. Yes to 5. No to 6. 7 is friends or literature. Yes to 8.
As a dad, I would hate to see my daughter in porn, let alone to see her watching any porn.
find it really interesting that NOT A MAN IN HERE......can tell me why do they prefer PORN over some artful beautiful pictures of people having sex or of naked women...What's the difference? Is the art too beautiful so it doesn't turn you on?

In the first place, who says that pornography is not "some artful beautiful pictures of people having sex or of naked women"? Certainly, not all pornography is beautiful or artful and some of it can be downright distasteful (at least to me) but you can say the same thing about Oprah, Survivor, or any other movie/TV show/ work of art. (Which is one reason that the courts have so much trouble defining what pornography "is") Some pornographic material is every bit as artful as anything you can find in the Louvre (see the Indian erotic artowrk, for instance) While you are certainly entitled to find pornography distasteful (or not), please don't attempt to make your opinion a universal constant. A chacun son goût and all that.

(Irony on) Why do men watch porn? So they can watch beautiful women do things they only wish their own women would do (Irony off)

1. Did you have a healthy loving relationship with your mother and sisters. Yes
2. Did your mother/sisters teach you about sex and about women The former, somewhat (My sister is younger than I)
3. Did your mother tell you that sex is only for making babies Absolutely not
4. Did your mother, father, sisters, brothers put you down about your sexual orientation No
5. Were you able to talk to your friends about sex when you were younger Yes (that's about all we did – grin)
6. Were you able to go to your mother/father or both about your sexual questionsYes
7. If not, who did you go to to get your questions answered Deep Throat
8. Were you an insecure young person about your physic Not sure what you meant here but show me one "young person" who isn't!

Every night for 3-4 hours isn't occassional. I don't get why he needs to do this when I am no slouch in the bed.

Without trying to be a wise-ass (Atypically), you may think you are a star in bed but your boyfriend may not (Note: this has absolutely nothing to do with how “good” or “bad” you actually are). If he is spending as many hours looking at porn as you indicate, that ought to be a pretty good indicator that he is not getting enough of what he wants. (Which doesn’t mean that you are required to provide it).

For whatever it is worth, like anything else, sensitivity is dulled by exposure. I don’t watch porn that frequently, as it happens (and sometimes I watch with She Who Must Be Obeyed) but if I do watch it more frequently, I find it has less erotic effect. Of course, so does drinking too much Jack Daniels.

The previous men I have been with and including the b/f all have a common link....low self-esteem

As an observation – not a criticism – I would say that this says as much about you as it does about them.
Extremely well said Felicia! You definitely have a grip on life. I came to that conclusion about 3 weeks ago in Raleigh.
" do not believe there is a consistent link between "degrading" images / hard core "pornography" and violence."

I have to disagree with you here, Funes. There are cases on record where prople used violent video games, and then either did violence to police officers or others, and they tried to commit suicide by laying in the middle of the street, or they went out and raped and/or killed women. If this isn't a corelatilon between watching visual media and violence, I don't know what is.
So, when someone says a person who is obsessed with pornography is not getting enough elsewhere... I'm not sure if that's a strong case. I've heard many times a woman who is very obliging, but whose partner still can't get 'enough'. It's not about the sex per se... it's the underlying behavior. Addiction is the need for immediate gratification - which is often the means to reduce anxiety, stress, frustration, anger, etc... They are quick fixes. Casting blame, shame and judgment on these individuals only adds to more of the same.

No argument. (I was just having a little fun)

Part of the "reaction" to anything over and above moderation is that the extra exposure doesn't provide the expected response, leading the person in question to seek ever-more quantities to obtain the desired response.
double high 5 1GL---you are on course again. I had three brothers and I can not tell you anything about their sexual habits or what they did with the girls. My older brother would not have had porn in my fathers house. There was one thing called RESPECT in our family---Porn does not fall in that catagory. It falls in the sleeze.
I have something to say about Marilyn Chambers. She was a stand-in in the first adult movie, Deep Throat. When the star got sick, Marilyn Chambers was "given" the title role in place of the star. Marilyn was 18 years old, and a virgin when she made that movie. Marilyn said that she had a 45 auto and a submachine gun trained on her to "encourage" her to make the movie. Doesn't sound like she had much of a choice. When she made her last adult movie, Marilyn said she was quitting the business. Even though I never saw Deep Throat, I have no reason to doubt Marilyn's word. How do I know all this? Let's just say that these words came from Marilyn's own lips. As for how THAT happened, like I said in a previous post, I'm led an interesting life.
Wasn't there a famous one made of or in Texas something about Dallas and Debbie
Was that the one about the high school cheerleaders trying to earn money?
I prefer eroticism over porn....My imagination is limitless...just saying...
Putting me down didn't do anything to me but pity you.

If you will read what I actually posted:
(“this has absolutely nothing to do with how “good” or “bad” you actually are). If he is spending as many hours looking at porn as you indicate, that ought to be a pretty good indicator that he is not getting enough of what he wants. (Which doesn’t mean that you are required to provide it)”)
you will see that this has little to do with you, let alone “putting you down.”

You are one who posted:
“The previous men I have been with and including the b/f all have a common link....low self-esteem (no not because of me...I raise them up out of that), lonely, people who get bored easily and depressives.”

If all the men you have been with are of this type (and I am only taking you at your word), then this, does, indeed, say as much about you as it does about them because, again taking you at your word, you seem to be attracted to (or attract) guys with a singular set of character traits. To paraphrase a popular saying, if you keep selecting the same type of men, why would you be surprised when their behavior is the same?

There is no need to be defensive. I am not making any value judgments. But when you make a generalization, you can’t be surprised if someone calls you on it.

I am just curious about men and why they do what they do.

You seem to think that men are a monolithic block and all act the same (or even similar) way(s). Given what you say your experience is, I can understand why you might think that (and that is not a value judgment – just an observation) but men are every bit as varied as women (albeit not nearly as crazy ); why would you think that “men” would have a universal reaction to anything?

I will break this to you gently but not all men, or even a great percentage of us, spend our waking hours drooling over a computer screen, choking one’s chicken, flogging one’s log, playing pocket pool, bopping the bologna, buffing the banana, or getting in touch with one’s self (not that there’s anything wrong with that – as Woody Allen said, “It’s sex with someone you love.”) We don’t all react to porn the same way and some of us don’t react to it at all. (Poor bastards) You seem to have experience with one kind of man (again, your words); not all of us, or even a great percentage of us, are like that. And while all men are basically simple creatures: we only have three conditions - we’re horny, hungry, or sleepy – there are nuances to those responses.

Undoubtedly there are porn films where the actors are exploited. Why is that different from regular films or, for that matter, any line of work? There were a number of actors in “legitimate” films (and, for that matter, the stage) who were abused, taken advantage of, and who later turned to drugs, alcohiol, and other sundry delights. Should we therefore heap our opprobrium on all matters cinematic? Should we stop buying all clothing because there are a few people who exploit their labor? Should we stop buying all houses because some are built with illegal immigrants, paid with substandard wages?

There are (so I’m told), literally thousands of sites on the Internet where men and women indulge their sexual whims and fantasies on video. Are they all exploited? Are they all abused? While I am sure that you can point to a few and say (even correctly) that they are, this is, undoubtedly, a small percentage. Pornography is a huge, multi-billion dollar industry. Someone, somewhere, is undoubtely getting exploiting or exploiting someone. And provided that all the parties are willing (and most parties seemingly are), who’s to say what is or isn’t, abnormal? Just because you or I may not have that particular preference doesn’t make it necessarily wrong or immoral.

For what little it’s worth, were I in your situation, I would, indeed, think there was something “off” about someone who spent every night (or even many nights), hunkered down in front of a computer screen, watching people indulge their sexual fantasies (and, undoubtedly, indulging in a few fantasies oh his/her own). But I would think that the problem lies more with the consumer than the product. If you keep running into the same type of consumer, all the time, why would you not try shopping in a different store?

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