liking men.....

[TuesdaysRuby]

I miss tbd so so much
but i guess Ill just write and if i ever see another person i know from the old tbd
ill be so so happy :)

starting over sux at my age
i finally got out on some dates
and they were nice enough
good men
nice men
but non that gave me the chemistry
that i have always had with the men i have loved

the men i have lusted over
the men i have given my heart to
my self to

the men

i have loved men

since i was a first grader i knew i wanted a man to love me well at that time of course, a boy

he gave me jewelry and showed me signs that he liked me back.....
he was the first boy that i liked too

somewhere along the line he lost interest maybe when my mom made me give the jewelry back because it was probably his mom's ........so she said.....

then there was the first mexican boy who liked me
and my mom told me it wasnt right to like someone "like him"
because he was mexican......then there was my first steady boyfriend........

[KarenSme]

Men can be fun.
One man can get kind'a tiresome.

[stillgoing]

Variety is the spice of life, eh KarenSme

[TuesdaysRuby]

KSME how you doing girlfriend?

[TuesdaysRuby]

yeah, i think i made a huge mistake allowing ex to come back in...sigh....he has settled in for the long cold winter, and im ready to go carrousing to find some fun....

[CWO3ROBBIE]

Sme,
Can I be part of your harem? I promise to be boring.

[TuesdaysRuby]

Hi Robbie
harem? mmm gosh, doesnt that mean they would all live under my roof at the same time?
I did have my ex and my former business partner living in the house at the same time
that was a very strange trip thru 4 months time.....

[nina M]

what a fun life never a dull moment . don't give up yet . life has lots more store for you . just enjoy the ride ;)

[TuesdaysRuby]

Yes Sheldon I do, did you get moved?

[TuesdaysRuby]

KB when Did i say you were bad?

[TuesdaysRuby]

and where is that new move taking you?

[TuesdaysRuby]

Thanks for all of the replies, and its so good to see some of my "old friends" HI TO YOU ALL :)
and some new ones too :) yeha, this whole thing brings me to the question...is it just the sign of the time
is marriage a thing of the past,
are we so into "fun" and excitement
that being with just one is not possible once the taste for variety has taken hold?
I was reminded one night that I had prayed some very serious prayers years ago
for my ex #2, his drinking was more than I could deal with, I wanted him more than life its self.....
now...I have him, he is not drinking, but things are not the same, have we changed way too much
to be settled together?
I want so much more than to sit at home day after day
I want to go, explore, be something/someone I have never been
I liked the person I was after our divorce
I loved being free to do and go
Until the mystery man came and stole my heart
and sent me on a quest to find that love
which was onlly an illusion and only a dream
for a short moment 6 weeks to be exact
I thought I was loved, and cherished
and wanted for me
then he was gone, and my journey
of pain, heart break, grief of all the losses in my life
took me to the deepest depression I hope never feel again

once i gave up that journey, and got caught up in the passion of my buisness
that deep desire was alwasy there
but too busy to chaise after that particular dream
only time for nothing more than work work and more work

now 9 1/2 years after opening the doors to my business
THE LOOSE CABOOSE as some of you will remember
I have gone another route for work
and given up the dream of the love of my life ever really showing up
have I settled for the lust of my life
but now with the lust being gone,
oh how will i stay sane
how will i go on
other than now

being back
with my TBD friends Im so very happy and glad :)

[Carl R Lindstrom]

You may just have to declare who you are and what you want ... then see who is attracted to that. The way that gets many into trouble is spotting someone plausible and then adjust yourself to be attractive to him/her.
You have a sweet Ruby heart and soul -- starting over is tough but also a new freedom to be your real self