"Imaginethat's Improbable Possibilities"

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Comment by imaginethat on November 30, 2015 at 8:28pm

For those who may have known of Blithe Spirit, it is with a heavy heart that the news of her having passed away is mine to deliver. Rest in peace my friend, you will be missed. I saw this news on Face Book the other day. The posts are now removed I have found, and I am sorry I cannot provide more information. She will be truly missed.

Comment by TeeBubbaDee on November 30, 2015 at 2:10pm

Comment by flippr 2.0 on November 26, 2015 at 1:52am

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

Comment by officerripley on November 24, 2015 at 3:21pm

So this farmer gets in his pickup & is heading to town when he sees a couple of blond GUYS who appear to be in their 20s hitchhiking.  He pulls over & says "You fellas need a lift, huh?" They say "Yeah, we'd sure appreciate it, sir! We're on break from college & were out hiking & got lost, our cell phones died, etc."  So the farmer says "Well, I can take ya as far as the next town where you can use a phone if you want, but you'll have to ride in back; I don't let hitchhikers ride up front with me."  They say that's fine & hop in back & the farmer takes off.  Well, there'd been bad weather recently; the farmer hits a patch of black ice, goes into a skid & the truck slides off the road into a lake. The farmer manages to struggle out of the truck's cab, bobs to the surface & swims to shore where he sees no sign of the blond GUYS; he figures they would've beaten him to shore since they were so much younger than him. He's just about to give them up for dead when their heads finally break the lake's surface & they swim to shore & pull themselves up on the shore & lie there exhausted. The farmer says, "I had just about given up on you GUYS! What took ya so long?!" 1 of the blonde GUYS says, "Well you know it was really hard getting that tailgate down under water; it took like forever!"

Comment by flippr 2.0 on November 24, 2015 at 12:52pm

Comment by ProblemAgain on November 23, 2015 at 6:23pm

whewwwww imagine that!!!

Comment by Aggie on November 23, 2015 at 5:14pm

Wise Advice from a Farmer's Wife

Whenever you return a borrowed pie pan, make sure it's got a warm pie in it.
Invite lots of folks to supper. You can always add more water to the soup.
There's no such thing as woman's work on a farm. There's just work.
Make home a happy place for the children. Everybody returns to their happy place.
Always keep a small light on in the kitchen window at night.
If your man gets his truck stuck in the field, don't go in after him. Throw him a

rope and pull him out with the tractor.
Keep the kerosene lamp away from the the milk cow's leg.
It's a whole lot easier to get breakfast from a chicken than a pig.
Always pat the chickens when you take their eggs.
It's easy to clean an empty house, but hard to live in one.
All children spill milk. Learn to smile and wipe it up.
Homemade's always better'n store bought.
A tongue's like a knife. The sharper it is the deeper it cuts.
A good neighbor always knows when to visit and when to leave.
A city dog wants to run out the door, but a country dog stays on the porch 'cause

he's not fenced-in.
Always light birthday candles from the middle outward.
Nothin' gets the frustrations out better'n splittn' wood.
The longer dress hem, the more trusting the husband.
Enjoy doing your children's laundry. Some day they'll be gone.
You'll never catch a runnin' chicken but if you throw seed around the back door

you'll have a skillet full by supper.
Biscuits brown better with a little butter brushed on 'em.
Check your shoelaces before runnin' to help somebody.
Visit old people who can't get out. Some day you'll be one.
The softer you talk, the closer folks'll listen.
The colder the outhouse, the warmer the bed.

Comment by TeeBubbaDee on November 23, 2015 at 3:09pm

Comment by ProblemAgain on November 23, 2015 at 2:28pm

Comment by TeeBubbaDee on November 22, 2015 at 10:28am

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