TBD

TBD on Ning

This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!

 

http://youtu.be/nGeKSiCQkPw

 

 

 

I mean it...... :-)

Tags: dead thread, key holder, roflmao, tickle me please

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On a tee shirt I'm thinking about buying:
"Lead me not into temptation. Ah hell, just follow me, I know a shortcut!"

Wise Advice from a Farmer's Wife

Whenever you return a borrowed pie pan, make sure it's got a warm pie in it.
Invite lots of folks to supper. You can always add more water to the soup.
There's no such thing as woman's work on a farm. There's just work.
Make home a happy place for the children. Everybody returns to their happy place.
Always keep a small light on in the kitchen window at night.
If your man gets his truck stuck in the field, don't go in after him. Throw him a

rope and pull him out with the tractor.
Keep the kerosene lamp away from the the milk cow's leg.
It's a whole lot easier to get breakfast from a chicken than a pig.
Always pat the chickens when you take their eggs.
It's easy to clean an empty house, but hard to live in one.
All children spill milk. Learn to smile and wipe it up.
Homemade's always better'n store bought.
A tongue's like a knife. The sharper it is the deeper it cuts.
A good neighbor always knows when to visit and when to leave.
A city dog wants to run out the door, but a country dog stays on the porch 'cause

he's not fenced-in.
Always light birthday candles from the middle outward.
Nothin' gets the frustrations out better'n splittn' wood.
The longer dress hem, the more trusting the husband.
Enjoy doing your children's laundry. Some day they'll be gone.
You'll never catch a runnin' chicken but if you throw seed around the back door

you'll have a skillet full by supper.
Biscuits brown better with a little butter brushed on 'em.
Check your shoelaces before runnin' to help somebody.
Visit old people who can't get out. Some day you'll be one.
The softer you talk, the closer folks'll listen.
The colder the outhouse, the warmer the bed.

So this farmer gets in his pickup & is heading to town when he sees a couple of blond GUYS who appear to be in their 20s hitchhiking.  He pulls over & says "You fellas need a lift, huh?" They say "Yeah, we'd sure appreciate it, sir! We're on break from college & were out hiking & got lost, our cell phones died, etc."  So the farmer says "Well, I can take ya as far as the next town where you can use a phone if you want, but you'll have to ride in back; I don't let hitchhikers ride up front with me."  They say that's fine & hop in back & the farmer takes off.  Well, there'd been bad weather recently; the farmer hits a patch of black ice, goes into a skid & the truck slides off the road into a lake. The farmer manages to struggle out of the truck's cab, bobs to the surface & swims to shore where he sees no sign of the blond GUYS; he figures they would've beaten him to shore since they were so much younger than him. He's just about to give them up for dead when their heads finally break the lake's surface & they swim to shore & pull themselves up on the shore & lie there exhausted. The farmer says, "I had just about given up on you GUYS! What took ya so long?!" 1 of the blonde GUYS says, "Well you know it was really hard getting that tailgate down under water; it took like forever!"

LOL

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

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