You're killing me Smalls.....

[Jaylee53]

This is completely just for laughs.... Do NOT think of posting anything serious or thought provoking here...EVER!

 

http://youtu.be/nGeKSiCQkPw

 

 

 

I mean it...... :-)

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Aggie]

Get Better Soon

A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients' bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, "I hope you get better."

One elderly gentleman replied, "I hope you get better, too."

[TeeBubbaDee]

[flippr 2.0]

[Aggie]

Livening Up Thanksgiving Dinner

1. Load your plate up high; take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender and take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake.

2. When everyone says, in turn, what they are thankful for, say, "I'm thankful I didn't get caught," and refuse to say anything more.

3. Bring along old-recorded football games and pop them in the VCR when Dad's not looking. Make sure it is set to the last two minutes of the game. When he comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.

4. Bring a date that only talks about the tragic and abusive conditions known to exist at turkey farms.

5. During mid-meal, turn to Mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey was past the expiration date. You were worried for nothing."

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Aggie]

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'

Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

[TeeBubbaDee]

[flippr 2.0]

[TeeBubbaDee]

[Aggie]

Are You Ready?

A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"

Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, Dewey, I've been telling you for the last half hour... I'll be ready in a minute!"

[Aggie]

A mother asked her small son what he would like for his birthday. "I'd like a little brother," the boy said.

"Oh my, that's such a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?"

"Well," said the boy, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."