TBD on Ning

FAILURE

Welcome to the forum where you can laugh at somebody else's misfortune and mistakes, the exercise in futility and Murphy's Law. I must give thanks to despair.com for a lot of the images and the inspiration. The gloves are off...!ENJOY!

Tags: Comedy

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Permalink Reply by flippr 2.0 on January 16, 2014 at 4:11pm

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Permalink Reply by Aggie on January 17, 2014 at 12:09am

On Arriving at Heaven....

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.

One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each
applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good
one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed
she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked
the shower and it was completely dry too.

I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I
went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging
to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his
fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by
some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human
strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the
balcony and throw it over. It hit the man and killed him.

At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack
and died. The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the
roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over
my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony
rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony
and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I fell but hit some awnings and
bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I
tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the
chest.

The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. The clerk
apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the
fellow in here just before you."

"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked hiding' in
this cedar chest..."