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...The Ranch's answer to you -know - what - with no rules.
Go ahead...tell us what you're having for dinner - we can't wait! Got a cute pic of kitty peeking out of a paper bag? Post it! We live for that stuff!
Math addict? How about a refresher on the Pythagorean Theorem?
Like macaroni and cheese? Tell us why!
So even if you're not a writer or a poet (yet), there's still plenty of fun things to do at the Armadillo!
Oh baby, oh baby!
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Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bmichael on
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What happens next?
I’m so glad you asked, Marilyn…
The lone figure made its way quickly through the rain – weaving an irregular path across town, stopping occasionally to listen.
At the edge of the narrow alley, it suddenly darted in, stepped behind a dumpster and waited. Satisfied that no one was following, it descended down a brick staircase and knocked on a thick wooden door.
A small panel opened.
“The crow flies westerly.”
“The dog runs easterly “ replied a voice from behind the door.
Some clicking sounds and the door creaked open.
Inside, the man removed his cloak and turned.
“She is here?”
“She is. They brought her this morning. She is not happy.”
“Will she eat? “
“Only the potato sticks and peach Kool Aid.”
“Excellent!”
He peered through the two-way glass. The prisoner – known only as “M” was clothed in a pink fuzzy bath robe and some oversized bunny foo-foo slippers. With her hair set in rows of giant rollers, she sat glassy eyed – strapped to a lawn chair, staring dully at an episode of “Good Times” – in fact the same one played repeatedly since 8:00 am that morning.
“Let us begin.”
The woman muted the TV.
Through a microphone, he said “Good Evening. Please allow me introduce myself. I am Meester Beeg…and I be you host this evening. Trust you are well and comfortable…under the circumstances. Mwaaaaaaahahahahaha!”
M’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice.
“What do you want?”
“In good time, liebschen. But first I be wanting to tell you story”. He sighed heavily. “Unfortunately is very sad story.
You see, once upon a time, there was girlchik and boychik who never went anywhere or got to do anything. (sniff) Forgive, please…is so sad.
You see, girlchik and boychik find that friend named M – hey same as you! – was going on glorious trip to foreign country and asked if they could go.
“NO!” said M.
Very disappointed, girlchik and boychik sadly went back home to work in straw pits.
And then…much later, they discover that comrade M is going on another glorious trip to foreign country and again ask to go.
“NO!NO!NO! said comrade M.
Disheartened, girlchik and boychik returned to miserable village and went to priest.
“Vengeance is mine, said the Lord” spoke the priest. “You must turn the other cheek, chikchiks. But also remember to “Do unto others as they do unto you…or something like that…I never remember correctly. Now – go forth and salsify!”
“And so, M, just like the lady in story… you going on another little trip…to very special place for very special vacation. Enjoy!”
“Roll the Justin Bieber videos!”
“NOOOOOOOOO…! Screamed M.
[waitaminutewaitaminutewaitaminute…I’ve heard this Meester Beeg crap before…where was it? Aaaarrgh…The Ranch…Bmichael…]
“Bmichael! Dammit! It’s you isn’t it! You piece of…Lemmee outta here…”
M stood up, sucked in her gut and the lawn chair fell away.
“Where are you, you SOB…when I get my hands on you…
Bmichael watched in horror as M escaped her confines and started to make her way to the door when her bunny foo-foos got tangled up and she tripped – knocking over the side table with the potato sticks and peach Kool Aid.
“Oops!...must dash!” he said as he disappeared into the dark, stormy night.
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Permalink Reply by Westerly_2 on
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Mwahahaha! Comrade M should give second thoughts to extending hospitality to boychick & girlchick in future: and here we were (uh, I mean, they were) all dolled up in special tourist duds and everything, all set to go. *Sniff*
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Permalink Reply by Marilyn on
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Hah! See if I ever invite boychik und girlchik along on my NEXT trip ... to beautiful Downtown Wilmington Delaware. Where I am currently working in a dull, grey cube. Sigh!
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Permalink Reply by Carol T on
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Daughter was in town for 19 hours this weekend. It was great to see her, even for that short amount of time, but she is so unhappy. When it was time to leave, she had a meltdown. I hate being unable to fix her life, but I can't even fix mine.
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I know. If only we could patch them up. The band-aid and the kiss don't work any more. And they sure as hell don't believe any of our advice. The stuff that worked in our day won't work in theirs.* Sigh*
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Tomorrow one of my best friends (she was my labor coach when my daughter was born) is having brain surgery. She's had a benign tumor for years. When it was originally discovered, they gave her radiation to shrink it, but no surgery because it is wrapped around a nerve. For years it remained stable and the length of time between checkups increased from 6 months to a year to two years. Her last checkup showed that it has grown aggressively over the last two years, and since she's reached her radiation limit, surgery is the only option.
I'm verklemmt.
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Thank you all for your good wishes.
My friend's surgery went well, the surgeon said he was able to remove all the tumor, and her estimated recovery time in the hospital has been reduced from ten days to three days. All in all, a good outcome.
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Oh, boy. So sorry, Carol! It appears that we've all reached the age where we watch our friends begin to have serious health problems -- or worse. Best of luck to your friend. Let us know how she fares.
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I add my best wishes to theirs, my friend.
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Good to hear.
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