The one that got away

[CaliforniaNow]

Whether it's yourself or someone else, describe the one that got away. . .not enough that we'll recognize them hopefully.

[LoveLife&Laughter]

Carrie

Just after high school I dated a cheer-leader for a ~ year; took her to her Jr. Prom.  We were a thing, dashing around summer and winter in my MG with the top down.  That summer I started my plebe summer at the academy and 4 years later... Vietnam.  She met another guy when she was in college she thought she loved and after they graduated, although she had some reservation, they got married.  After all, I had been gone for more then ~6 years.

She divorced ~10 years ago; she finally realized it had been a ~loveless marriage.  Then she started looking for me and  just before last Christmas, she did.  My wife and I met her at her son's house in San Jose during the holidays.  San Jose is a nice ride for us, Carrie is from Cape Cod.  I swear, we started in talking where we left off ~54 years ago; incredible.  She reminded me, "What did you expect; we never did really break up."  

But we can only be friends, I am still very much in-love with my wife.  But it would be interesting  if I were not...

[Karin M Fichtner]

In the months before I married the last time, I was being courted by a driver I had known since before I met the man I was to marry. For two years, I just thought he was a friend. I would have liked it to be more, but he never made clear what his feelings were. I hadn't seen him for a while, when he walked in.....on my last day at the truckstop.....with my fiancé sitting in the next booth over! I told him I was leaving, and had accepted a marriage proposal. He looked like I had dropped a ton of bricks on him! He wrote me a letter, in which he told me that he had been in love once before, and had screwed it up by rushing her. So he had decided to take it slow and easy this time. He told me he had hoped we were heading for a real romance. As it turned out.....maybe I would've been better off with him, as my marriage ended badly. Now I see his father has retired and left his lucrative lumber business to him! He was such a nice guy....real sweet. I just never knew he was serious. Maybe things would've turned out a whole lot different. I think of him often.

[officerripley]

Too many to list; they almost all got away, lol.

[Johnnieboy]

There was a girl I knew growing up.We were very good friends through elementary school and in our first years of high school. Not a real boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but it could have been. We were both kind of into other things. Me football, her artistic things. Paintings and stuff. We kind of lost touch until we met again at our thirty year class reunion. I was still married and she had just ended a marriage. We had a chance to talk and I think a few drinks in each of us led to us to express how we really felt about each other. If only we hadn't been so shy in high school, things would have been different.

[Lifesighs]

Three for me, my first love he was fun and sweet but I had to explore the world first.

2nd was amazing he is brilliant and talented but between our baggages of past relationships when he was ready I wasn't and vice versa we've had many different periods of togetherness and still stay in touch. Perhaps it was for the best.

3rd was an attraction like a magnet the chemistry was good the relationship was exciting and fun, I messed it up because I was still somewhat involved with #2 and he didn't like it.

[flippr 2.0]

i met my ex when i was 10 and she was 11.then,a bunch of stuff happened,and now,i'm here.that's all i know.

[Johnnieboy]

A lot of haze in between, eh pal?

[flippr 2.0]

yea,alot of good stuff  too.

[imaginethat]

Such heartfelt responses. It is sad when a love escapes us for whatever the reasons. High School seems particularly vulnerable times.

BOB

I went steady with Bob from 8th grade until the end of our Junior year in high school. He was in the band and I was on the performing drill team. We were so very in love. We did everything together and he was romantic. For my 16th B-day he took me for a plane ride in one of those smaller airplanes at a local airport. He wrote me a song. On Valentine's day he proposed to me and I accepted at that tender young age. We were way too serious for our age. His mother was afraid he wouldn't go on to college (nor me for that matter. I did well in school and took all college prep classes). I believe that she had alot to do with our breakup, though I was so close to his family and he to mine. He was in a high school play in the spring before prom and a cheer leader who was also in the play had been on the bad end of a break-up with her football player and cried on Bob's shoulder. He took me to the prom that year and broke up with me the day after. He had a few dates with the cheerleader and then that ended. But I could not get over it. It was such a shock to me. Something I NEVER even considered could happen. I sat in the backyard and stared at the sky almost daily. Then a guy I knew he hated asked me out. I dated him and two others I knew he disliked. Well, this is not a good strategy. It only drove him further away.....but after years of pondering the "what ifs", I concluded he didn't deserve me at all if he was that shallow and full of himself. But it still feels unresolved. I didn't see it coming and was blind-sided. My trust was absolute and so was my love for him. I dunno.....it still hurts to some extent. It wasn't meant to be though, or it would have happened.

[Kim]

My "one that got away" story wasnt very long ago. ABout 3 years ago, I met a very intriguing man from Europe who has lived in the US for about 15 years. One of the reasons I think we got along so well was because I had been very immersed in the Dutch culture as a child because my childhood summer vacations were spent in Ontario, Canada where 99% of the kids I met there had a Dutch background and observed Dutch traditions. He was a very good, loving man and he treated me like a queen but he misunderstood something I questioned and accused me of questioning his love and HOW COULD I? After all he did for me and blah, blah, blah. I TRIED to convince him, it wasnt LIKE that and we conversed and/or argued online (because he would not take my calls) off and on for about 3 months. Finally, we agreed to get together, I was thrilled. We spent 2 days doing stuff together and had a good time. We had kissed in this time but it never went further than that. When I tried to casually mention my schedule so we could get together and he said, he didnt WANT to get together again. THats NOT what those 2 days were about. (HUH?) SO...I moved on and stopped thinking about him and it was a few months later, I met my current boyfriend. About A year after I met him, I saw my EX on Yahoo Messenger and thought to say HI. We got talking extrensively because he was in Holland taking care of his mother and he knew I was a caregiver. He needed advice here and there and we talked on the phone a bit eventually and he DID apologize and tell me WHY he acted like a TOTAL FOOL that caused our breakup and hoped I would forgive him.  I did of course...life is too short to hold grudges!! I told him about Mark and he told me about his girlfriend in Holland. NEITHER one of us are the jealous sort so it wasnt a big deal to be talking about it. I was long over him anyway.

He had been laid off his GOOD PAYING JOB here and went back to stay with his mom till he decided what to do. I told him he should MOVE BACK THERE and I was a little relieved when he thought he might. I was under an impression he was serious with this girlfriend. They had known each other for 20 years but never dated till he had gone back there. But he found her difficult to stay with long term. ANYWAY, he had to come back here ANYWAY to sell house, car, etc. so when he came he asked if my agency would hire him even though the only real experience he had was with his MUM. Frankly, ANY agency that takes care of the elderly will hire ANYONE who passes a background check. But on the other hand, I personally would NOT recommend just anyone. I feel protective of my OLD PEOPLE. HOWEVER, my ex was so wonderful when he would visit the nursing home with me, I KNEW he would be wonderful. AND he was a fantasic cook and I KNEW my clients were in desperate need of the night shift who could cook a decent homemade meal. SO...I recommended him.  ANYWAY, he was hired immediately and it was almost like I was his BOSS....LOL. I trained him for 12 hours at a time since he was doing both shifts. In those 12 hours X 2, I learned alot about him that I didnt know before and I dont know if it was THOSE moments or in the months following that I realized I am GLAD we didnt stay together. It would have gotten ugly eventually, I'm SURE of it. What ended up happening is that "OUR" clients wanted a LIVE IN caregiver which would elimiate all the shift work. They had hired a women for the week and HIM for the weekend but at the VERY last minute, the woman had "bailed" and the agency was STUCK because they had "reassigned" all of us caregivers to other clients and Dennis was the only one LEFT. Well...he ended up moving in 7 days a week. BUT...the wife was not comfortable with ONLY a male caregiver being present. SHe was uncomfortable with him doing something as small as her laundry. Even though the caregivers had always MAINLY been there for her husband, she was starting to need help and she did not want a MAN caregiver to even offer his arm to her. But there was no choice so she put up with it. When they announced they were going to have to interview a LIVE IN (from an ad posted on Craig's List nationally), I offered to take the job IF I could have weekends OFF to go home. My EX left here to work as a caregiver for a famous man associated with McDonalds before re-entering the corporate world and makeing MEGA BUCKS. I will NEVER regret the day I suggested him for this job, he put joy into an 87 year old man and the man even improved in his strength and health. Sadly, the man died in his sleep just a month ago but I am thankful for the difference he made in that old man's life!! THAT is what Dennis was wanting for his life. To make a difference yet he didnt know HOW. He is still my dear friend and one day Mark and I plan to meet him and his girlfriend for dinner. (I have met his girlfriend a few times. Oh and its NOT the girl from Holland. Just someone he met when he came BACK here in September)