The UnVarnished

[Bmichael]

In an exclusive HBO mini-series, The UnVarnished, County Sheriff Jonny Fontaine (Bmichael) returns to his roots in Eastern Kentucky to distribute his own brand of justice in notorious Buttup County.

Fontaine, the son of infamous outlaw and ne’er-do-well “Roy The Door Boy” Fontaine, Jonny has forsaken his familial outlaw heritage, and against all odds and a crippling birth defect (he was born without an ass) has publically sworn that all licensed drivers in Buttup County WILL have car insurance – or they’ll answer to him personally – thus making him a particular thorn in the side of his boss, Lorna Doone, a tough little cookie who heads the U.S. Marshall District.

Underneath his calm demeanor, there’s an angry dude who knows more about who he’s not than who he really is except during those times when he gets confused and forgets things and pretends he doesn’t but he really does so he makes stuff up a lot which only adds to the madcap hilarity of this dark comedy.

Tuesdays @ 9:00 pm.

[Westerly_2]

            I have a cousin with no ass. Her broad back descends to her fleshy thighs in one flat sheet of flesh, interrupted only by a vertical dent bisecting the mass.

 

            I’ve seen these tough cookies melt like butter under the right heat. I bet that Lorna Doone, in the end, grew more flakey than tough under the gaze of Jonny Fontaine’s very good-looking and shoulder-swinging self. Am I wrong?

[Bmichael]

I can’t say too much, but in the next episode, the politics of Buttup County are upset when a local news reporter discovers that not only does Lorna Doone not have car insurance – but her driver’s license has been revoked!

[Carol T]

"Lorna Doone, a tough little cookie..."

Guffaw!  Snort!