Age differences....does it matter??

[Suthinsoul]

Do you think a 13 year difference in age matters in a serious relationship???  This being the woman is the older one.  The man is 44 and the woman is 57.  I think it is more accepted when the man is the older.  However, if the woman is a young 57...do you think it's okay for her to "rob the craddle"?

[oldmike]

Ok, let me be the contrarian here. I think a 13 year age difference CAN (but not necessarily) be a problem. I don't care who you are, 13 years is a lot of experience that the other person hasn't had.

Now, for me personally, being a man I am often physically attracted to much younger women, but I doubt very seriously if I'd ever "make a move" on them. I guess I just see myself as being with someone very close to my age (58).

[Suthinsoul]

I would rather have someone my age make a move on me, but for some reason they don't.  I've been single now for 17 years....well actually this Aug. it will be 18.  I'm still a vibrant, sensual woman.  So many years I've fought going younger cause I want someone I can talk to "after the lovin".  But it's not happening.  I feel my life is passing me by.  There's going to come a time when I WILL be old and not even the young men will want me.  I can't see me with someone in their 20s or 30s  for sure...but right now, mid 40s doesn't look too bad.  Give me an alternative.  I'd really like to know where the hope is.

[ozzieowl]

Boy oh boy, lol, has this Discussion come at a good time for me, thanks Suthinsoul.

I will be 67 this May, and have been on my own for around 15 years now,

and during these years I was sharing living with my eldest daughter, then

for the last 3 years now, I'v lived by myself, I lost my wonderful companion,

my dog Robbie 2 years ago, which has left the biggest hole. Anyway,

I am feeling I would like a male friend, companion, to go places,

do things together and begin really enjoying life again, there is only so much

you can run around doing on your own. I am approached by much younger

men, particularly on the net, and when this happens, I totally dismiss it,

because as it has already been mentioned, when there is a big difference

in age, there is a difference in the experience, knowledge and wisdom that

has been gained by the older one, mostly. I don't want to be a mother to

a lover either, and I realize I have insecurities about my ageing physical body,

probably because I have had no contact that way for all these years.

I'm missing that emotional life giving touch from another now, but,

don't want to complicate my life or live with anyone 24/7.

This Discussion is good timing for me, as very recently,

a younger man 49, has sent me a `Friend Request' on line,

and it's not the first time, as I have `Rejected' his request

a few times over the last two years or so, in my belief that 

he is too young, but I have always liked his photo on his page

with his nice big smile and grinning eyes, well, now I have got

around to `Accepting' his Friend Request, and by chatting back

and forth, he seems a decent, normal nice guy - I've got the

jitters now, lol!

My stark reality is, that this man is only 2 years older than

my eldest daughter!  -  what to do.

[oldmike]

Hello! Nice to see you here.

[ozzieowl]

Thanks for that Joyce4,  I think we shall probably get around to having 

a Skype session in the near future and I will be able to gauge a lot by that.

I have had many discussions with my self regarding sexual activity in our

senior years, and I don't think I need to get all hung up about it,

but the thing that is difficult to sort out, is, just what do we do

to make sure either party has no STD's etc, I guess it is a conversation

that has to be had, together with hoping the other person is being

totally honest, I've heard that there is a blood test that can be had,

is that the way we satisfy ourselves that everything is ok?

(Apologies as this could be viewed as being off topic, 

but it sort of goes hand in hand with the whole idea of

entering into a possible relationship.)

[Woody Woods]

Having sex when older is no different when younger. Men who are active should always get tested no matter what age and also use condoms until they both understand it's going to be an exclusive relationships..........just my opinion as a long time single dude.

[Suthinsoul]

My ex married a girl who was 2 years YOUNGER than his youngest daughter.  What's good for the goose....  Besides, I'm not looking for a husband.  I just need that human touch, like you said.  Someone to pal around with for a few days and send him home.  I'm not looking for any long, brain stimulating conversations or to hear about their ailments.  Laying in bed naked trying to hit each others mouths with popcorn is just fine by me.  Why should we deny ourselves this happiness with someone willing just because it "doesn't look right" in the eyes of someone else?  Men my age aren't giving it to me.  Someone younger thinks I'm beautiful and wants to make me happy so why should I say no?

[Woody Woods]

I bet a few folks just said......"oh my" or "did she just say that" or "tramp"......but I like what you said. And I'm gonna try that popcorn idea the next time I get lucky..........lol.

[Suthinsoul]

LOL!!!  Way more fun than stimulating conversation.

[flippr 2.0]

i'll have what she's having.

[Karin M Fichtner]

When I was 42, I started dating a man who was 62.  He was active, hard-working, intelligent, dependable.....and we got along very well.  He asked me to marry him.  I have to admit, I considered it, but my children were all grown except one, and I already had two granddaughters. My son was just out of high school, and I didn't want to leave him until he was fully capable of surviving on his own. Marrying Ben would have meant moving to Colorado.  I found, however, that the longer I knew him, the more I saw that he felt superior to me.....like I was "just a silly girl" compared to him.  Some of the things I enjoyed doing....he found childish.  I was afraid marrying him was going to make an old lady of me before my time.  I don't regret turning him down.

I was married the last time to a man 7 years my junior.  We had problems, but none of them had anything to do with our age differences.  He's aged so much since our divorce.....he's now "older" than I am.  My son's wife is 9 years older than he is.  It makes no difference whatsoever.  He's always been more mature than his years. And you'd never guess she was as old as she is.

[flippr 2.0]

yea?