Funny dating stories

[Grandma Helen]

I'm sure if we all think about it, if we've been out on dates since we became single again, that there are some really funny stories.  Let's share ours and see who's is funniest. 

[Leftygrl]

Talking about red flags.  I just had a luncheon date a few days ago, and the guy "hinted" that there were hard feelings between him and his former spouse.  To me if someone isn't over the hurt especially after being divorced 9 years as he was - that's definitely a big red flag to me.  Anyway though our conversation I found out I know his former spouse - we both belong to an athletic club - and frankly she's very nice.  As we were parting ways in the parking lot I asked him what his former spouse would say about him if I asked her.  He got real quiet and said she most likely would have some negative things to say about him, but he pointed out that he has negative feelings for her too.  Hmmmmm . . . When I got home that evening I checked my email and his message said, "nice lunch, you are nice but your connection to my former spouses club is a deal breaker."  I truly laughed out loud.  What deal?  We just had lunch and a (mostly) nice conversation.  Sounds like he definitely has some character flaws.

But one of my all time favorite stories.  Had a coffee date with a guy and we talked about how nice it would be to be in a relationship, to have someone special in our lives . . . yadda, yadda, yadda and then he said, "yea, I'm really getting tired of doing laundry, cooking and cleaning."  Trust me, I didn't miss a beat and I said, "yes, me too!  Have you ever looked into a cleaning service?  I wonder how much they cost."  Needless to say he did not call back for a second date. Wonder why? ;-)

Ahhhh . . . the joys of dating! ;-)

[ozzieowl]

Geez, haven't that kind all dyed off yet ?  lol!

[mercerquietman]

I don’t have any horror stories, but one episode I thought was really bizarre. I never forgot it. Shortly after my divorce I went on a date with a woman about my age. We went to see Apollo 13, the movie with Tom Hanks. We were having an ok evening but there was not much of a connection. As I was driving her home we talked a little about the movie and I mentioned how harrowing it must have been for those men in that damaged spacecraft wondering if they would ever make it back and that it must have looked really grim to them. She says “what do you mean?” I thought the point was obvious, but I went on to describe what we had just seen, that there was an explosion, they had to take refuge in the lunar module, they didn’t know the extent of the damage, they were trying to get home in a jimmy-rigged craft, etc. etc. She looked puzzled and said something to the affect that this was only a movie. So I said, yeah but I’m referring to the actual Apollo 13 mission. She gave me this look like I must be crazy and said “You mean this really happened?”

You could have knocked me over with a feather. She was my age! How could she not have known this story. It gripped the nation if not the world when it happened. We were bombarded with news about this for days on end. Was she under a rock somewhere? I should have asked her if she knew we landed on the moon. I know it’s not a big deal, I just could not imagine a normal person my age not knowing this.

[ozzieowl]

Unbelievable mercerquiteman - I mean, I believe your story,

just cannot understand that lady having no idea.

[Eaglewoman]

My hair dresser introduced me to one of her male customers, she said he was nice and a good tipper. At this stage in my life I want to pay my own way. We met at a local restaurant, he started off asking me how much I made, how much I owed on my condo, how much insurance I had, how much I had in savings. I didn't answer any of these questions, would never tell some one I just met all this information. Then when we ordered dinner, we had already agreed each would pay their own. He ordered a bowl of pinto beans, said that was all he could afford!!!!!!!!!

Another time I went went hiking with a guy and he kept telling me how much fun it is to hike in the nude(?) I don't think so. He had a canteen on his belt with a chain that rattled. When I had to go in the bushes, and was sqauted down  doing you know what. I could hear a chain rattling behind me, I was so sure it was him, a dog came behind me and touched his cold nose to my bare rear, I about jumped thru my skin, and finished the job all over my clothes.

[Woody Woods]

LOL.......I just had a visual of that........LOL..........

[ozzieowl]

Great story Lyn, luv your wit too!

[Kim]

Woody Woods...you have some great words of wisdom there for Suthinsoul. SUTHINSOUL...i would like to say to you that I am 100% in support of your beliefs. People who know me would have thought *I* wrote that.....LOL!!  Its been almost 2 years since I met my present "boyfriend" (at 47, I feel silly using that "name". Sometimes I think people get engaged JUST so they can use the word "fiancee"....LOL), At the time,neither of us was "looking" for anyone special though I had dated from the sites quite a bit. Incidentally, I did NOT meet him on a dating site. He is a good, kind man and his family consider me their family. He has 5 brothers who call me their sister. Mark and I are happy the way we are, living in our own homes. I ABSOLUTELY believe living together is a love killer too. Maybe its different when there's a family to raise and a home to furnish and care for but I am over that. Been there, done that, WASHED the tshirt! He feels the same way though we both are not opposed to changing our minds someday if it comes to that. Everyone thinks we are SO cute together and yadda, yadda, yadda so a couple weeks ago when we were looking over wedding pictures of a recently wed couple in their 50's, someone suggested that WE might be the NEXT ones to get married. I said, we dont realy ever PLAN  to get married and I looked at Mark and said, "do we?"  He said, 'NOPE but I sure do LOVE you!" And he kissed me! LOL! We get this "jokey" question a lot and i just say, at OUR age and stage in life, WHY should we? But it makes people sad that we have made this statement I think. It would be SADDER if we did get married at this point.  We get along very well and rarely ever argue. We enjoy being together and talking. But I know that if we had to live together....well...lets just say, it would no longer be a good thing!! 

[Woody Woods]

Good for you. Do what makes the two of you happy. I bet some of those who may frown on your 'arrangement' aren't too happy in theirs.....if the are in a relationship.....lol. Although I still use the on line dating sites, I got a feeling that the person I'll end up with will be someone I'll meet somewhere else....lol.

[Kim]

Woody Woods...the very funny thing about MY experience with online dating is that I got on my first one about 3 months after my divorce was final. (i didnt date at all during separation) and have paid for 2 others besides THAT one. THEN I got on some free ones. I've had more fun reading through the profiles and either dreaming or LAUGHING....LOL!! As I said, I have gone on quite a few of these dates. Most were 2-3 dates at MOST because I am pretty good at weeding out the RED FLAGS....LOL!! I had one SOMEWHAT serious relationship for only a few months. It didnt work out though we are now extremely close friends. NOW that we HAVE become close friends, and he has recently spilled his past patterns in relationships, I am SO thankful it just didnt work out with us. I KNOW too much!! LOL!!

I guess I got off the subject of what i was gonna say a little bit...LOL....I was gonna say, I was on all these dating sites, going on dates with men who are my DREAM MAN according to their profile and though they  usually have been pretty honest, they turn out "not for me" and  I have met people left and right in public without trying. I have had 2 serious relationships since my divorce 4 years ago (besides the above mentioned), NEITHER one I met "online" but funny enough, they were both on a dating site when I met them!! 

ANOTHER funny thing about those sites is EVERYONE seems to be on them. I was out dancing with a bunch of friends...all of us were single girls and guys, none of us dating each other.  A few of us were standing by the bar waiting for some others. It was time to leave, the place was closing in 45 minutes or so. Anyway, WE and a couple of guys standing nearby started talking about Plenty of Fish (ALL of us were on it...LOL) The one "stranger" looked so familiar but  I KNEW I never met him and for that matter, I KNEW I didnt like him either. He complained how those dating sites are just full of a bunch of useless desperate broads who post pictures 10 years younger and 20 pounds thinner. And women looking for someone to be their kids father. Well, THAT night, I went home and REALIZED that JUST before I went out, I read an email from some guy and though his profile and letter were "OK", there was something about it that I decided I probably would NOT pursue this one. Well, it was THAT guy!!! LOL!! I also looked across an outdoor venue one time and saw a guy I had been talking to online for a few weeks. He was with a few buddies. We never did go out. Our schedules seriously clashed (except for THAT night, I guess....LOL)

[Woody Woods]

LOL......I'm on Plenty of Fish too......and OKCupid....and Match.com....and SeniorDating....and.....oh well....I could go on and on......lol. Like you, I mostly read the profiles, but once in a while I'll find one that interests me and I'll respond. I usually wait for someone to respond to me because of what I have on my profiles, which is usually something funny and unusual. I figure if anyone will respond to my profile, they must have a sense of humor and like the music that I like....which is important to me. I don't get many responses, but the ones I get, the ladies are usually nice. It's after we meet face to face that usually determines if I'm going to keep pursuing it.....and she's probably making up her mind too. I recently met someone on line...we met at Starbucks....she was nice enough but a couple of things she said kinda turned me off. The SF bay area is a big place with lots of things to do and see. I lived here over 30 years and still haven't seen everything....and I want to see more. I love exploring new places. This lady lives 25 miles from SF and never goes there. Lived in the area all her life and I know more places and things to do than she does....and she probably think I'm a little nuts too......lol. I have made a couple of good friendships...we just know we aren't meant for each other relationship wise. And one....who I really liked...is kinda high maintenance. Looking for Mr. Goodbar, and she always picks the wrong guy who ends up using her and she calls me to vent....lol. She's a good person who always picks the wrong guy...with the right one.....ME...staring her right in her face....lol. And I know she would drive me nuts if we were together...lol. I'm going to keep at it because I found a new site through AARP......lol. I browsed through it and it seems ok. So.....here we go again. Hopefully something...or someone...will come out of this one..........Wish me luck......lol

[ozzieowl]

Woody Woods,  your last lady that was looking for Mr. Goodbar,

sort of reminds me of Elaine with Jerry in Seinfel, lol!