The end of courtship?

[Serenity]

Does it affect Boomers as well

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashion/the-end-of-courtship.html...

MAYBE it was because they had met on OkCupid. But when the dark-eyed musician with artfully disheveled hair asked Shani Silver, a social media and blog manager in Philadelphia, out on a “date” Friday night, she was expecting at least a drink, one on one.

“At 10 p.m., I hadn’t heard from him,” said Ms. Silver, 30, who wore her favorite skinny black jeans. Finally, at 10:30, he sent a text message. “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever?” he wrote, before adding, “I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.”

Turned off, she fired back a text message, politely declining. But in retrospect, she might have adjusted her expectations. “The word ‘date’ should almost be stricken from the dictionary,” Ms. Silver said. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”

“It’s one step below a date, and one step above a high-five,” she added...  (end snip of story)

[Woody Woods]

Agree.......for me a date is a one on one situation....not an invite out to join up with some friends at a Pub....lol.

[Grandma Helen]

Serenity, I'm just so glad I'm not young and out there trying to date.  Most, like this story shows, have no concept of being courted or romanced.  It seems like instead of a guy calling and askng a girl to a movie or dinner they are texting "want to ............? "   I think it's so sad that they don't go out both one on one and in groups of friends for fun things to do.  I remember loads of dates back when I was young.  At one point I had joined a church run group that held dances and outings and we got to know guys and when one of the guys found a girl they liked they talked to them to get to know them.  I would have missed out on a lot of fun.  Bowling and beer drinking with both guys and girls were fun too.  I still love to have guy friends.  Maybe because I was a tomboy when I was young.  I always found being courted and pursued a lot of fun and still would.  This hookup mentality just doesn't work in my mind.  I think the young ones are missing out on a lot.  I know recently here in the Baltimore they held a seminar for single seniors about safe sex.  It was given by a group of seniors who had all sorts of STD's, so Serenity, I think the end of courtship may be missing us too.

[Serenity]

Helen, seniors have the highest percentage of new HIV cases nationally.  They think that they are living in the past when a shot could fix the clap.  I have friends in public health/communicable diseases and seniors are vectors for all sorts of STDs because they think random, unprotected sex is safe for them.  Seniors are also far more adversely impacted by HIV treatment.  When some guy starts making "lets get it on" noises with me I inform him that every woman he's ever had sex with is a part of his history. Has he been sex free for 6 months?  What is his HIV/AIDs status, herpes, and all the other fun things out there today.  If I were serious about someone I'd be willing to get testing to demonstrate I am disease free because my sexual history also comes with me.  If he isn't willing to do the same thing and be willing to use protection (in case we got a false negative) then I'm not interested.  Of course, I haven't met a man who could get it up in years... (shrug) 

[mercerquietman]

Alledgedly there was some Einstein quote about this. I cannot recall it exactly, but the thrust of the quote was he fears the day technology will do away with human interaction and turn us into a nation of idiots. I see this all over, people texting and manipulating their phones hours on end. I've seen FB postings showing a group of young people all gathered in a social setting each staring at their phone screen and punching it with the Einstein quote superimposed on it.

I can say this boomer remains unaffected. I can count the texts I have sent on the fingers of one hand. If I want to communicate with someone I talk to them. What a novel idea.

[Serenity]

How is  your ASL going MQM?  Since a large number of the rapidly aging population (us) are going deaf or severely HoH?

Anyone who wants to reach me has pretty much two choices - text or email. In the alternative, when I get VP they can go through interpreter relay. 

[mercerquietman]

Sad to say, it ain't going. I'm a supreme procrastinator :-(

 

[Serenity]

Better hone up those text skills.  

[TornadoWoman]

I'll just say that I'm glad I'm not young now-a-days, and I don't even have texting!

[Eaglewoman]

I'm with Tornnado woman, I don't even have a cell phone that does text, mine is so old, its just a hello/'goodbye phone.

last year I took my hairdresser out to lunch for her b/d, the whole time we were at the restaurant, she was texting and calling one or the other of her sister. I will not take her out again, did not enjoy listening to her spend the time with her sisters. I think it was very rude.

I think the whole concept of dating and meeting  has changed from my day.

[Serenity]

Your hairdresser was rude.  I don't do that when I'm with someone. 

[Ursula]

Along the same line, I was amazed last week when an older friend (I'm in my 60's, he's in his 70's) told me i was missing out on a lot by not having a smart phone.  My question is what's so smart about being tied to a machine????  I have a cell phone; it's seldom turned on, unless I need to use it, and the voice mail advices the caller to call me at home, which my sons think is hysterical.  Oh well, that's me!!

[Serenity]

Steve, that is just silly.  We use the human tongue for far more than speech.  Speech is generated in the brain and in the vocal cords.  We use the tongue for swallowing and manipulating food in the mouth.  

Things change constantly.  I remember BBSs that were like these social boards.  Then they went away and it was email lists.  Now we are back to BBSs called Social forums/media.   First it was phone, then fax, then cell phone, then email, then text. That's not the end of the road. Culture evolves. You are acting as if you think the world got frozen in 2012.  It didn't. Life goes on.  I don't know what is next, but whatever it is, it is coming our way and due to arrive soon.  

The one thing I try very hard to be is an "early adopter" so I can keep up with the world and the people in it as it changes. Most folks our age do not do so.  I know older attorneys who can't turn a computer on or work a copy machine.  It is natural for older people to become more conservative - and I fight against that tendency every day.

Back to my Bodhran lesson soon.  :)  Irish war drum r' me. They used to be a form of communication too - we don't use them for that anymore.  (dusting) LOL