Social or "non" Social Sites?

[oldmike]

I just posted the hideaway thread and got to thinking -- again, am I alone here or do you do this too?

I find myself using social networking sites like this one as a crutch -- or rather as a means of being alone without being alone! I have been single for 4 years and rather enjoy it, not that I don't miss my dearly departed wife with every ounce of my being, but I've found that the peace I have with being alone is quite nice.

Do I use social networking sites to be "non" social? I think so, to a degree. How 'bout you?

[TornadoWoman]

I guess I use them to a degree, too, Mike.  I definitely have as much personal social involvement with friends of many ages, but I also enjoy the social net sites to be "non" social, sometimes too much.  Time passes way to fast when I go to the different groups I'm in!  What I haven't liked at times is the cyber bullying that has happened to me in the past.  I never had a problem with that in my "real" social life!

[TornadoWoman]

You got that right, Steve!

[Eaglewoman]

Last year i was housebound for almost 4 moths-don't know what I would have done with out sites like this and the people who kept me going. But I also find it is easier to  talk to  people here, I'm not good at talking to people in person unless they talk to me first(shy) I don't like the bullying that goes on some sites, but fortunately there is really not a lot of that. I don't like FB, am only on it because that is were my company put the retiree's information page.

[Grandma Helen]

I don't really censor what goes on in my group, but there are two things I won't have.  One is bullying and the other is something that is downright disgusting or disrespectful.  There is just no need for those things and I'm sure you all agree.  Steve is right that people online do sometimes say stuff they don't have the nerve to say to someone in person.  Glad we all just get along. 

[TornadoWoman]

Yes, Helen and those are some of the reasons why you're a great group manager!

[oldmike]

I was on eons since 2007. I joined one evening while sitting the family room with my ailing wife and I saw an ad on TV for eons. It was just what the doctor ordered! I could hang out with my new friends and converse at my own speed and in my own time. I found groups with varying interests and joined several of them. I made some good personal friends, and as Steve pointed out, we even got together in Key West one summer and had (to me at least) one of the best times I've had in years! I continue to have email and telephone conversations with some of my new friends who are scattered all across the country. Most of my online friends apparently are the kinds of people I would like even if we had met in person. I try to keep it real, I don't hide behind a facade of any sorts, and try to maintain a level of mutual respect. Once in a while we do run into bullies or people we just don't like -- so we move on, just like in real life.

What I find is that, like Phil mentioned, this online stuff can become addicting and can do two things (to me) --- one is that I spend so much time online that I don't have time for real-life, in person relationships, and the other is that I find the online relationships to be "safer." It's kind of like this -- if I'm your online friends and I feel like not talking to you today, I don't have to explain myself -- you don't expect me to talk to you every day! LOL If I'm your in person friend, especially if we live close to each other, you might expect me to stop in to see you or you might come see me once in a while. We might also expect phone calls (I hate the telephone, I have classic telephone-phobia) -- and in that case I would feel obligated to maintain the relationship more so than an online one. That's the "non" social part of me talking. I'm not anti-social, I'm more a-social. I don't dislike people and relationships, I just find them to be difficult for me to maintain in person, not so hard online.

Ok, the other thing is here I can ramble and you can't roll your eyes and look at your watch! LOL

I've made more out of this than I planned -- sure enjoy hearing everyone's comments. One thing I've learned over the years, we (all people) are more alike than we might at first think, some times we just need to look for the similarities a little harder!

[TornadoWoman]

Now that was a very entertaining (and informative and very REAL) ramble, Mike!!

[Serenity]

Ha!  You don't like the phone either, Mike?  LOL  I prefer to text now.  

[javagirl]

I have such an aversion to talking on the phone.  I have friends that will yak and yak and it drives me nuts. I usually don't answer the phone now and will text back.  too funny.  nice to know there are other people that feel the same!

it drives some people I know nuts.

Part of it is that I work in a very busy public department and it's like sensory overload so I just require quiet time after work.

[Grandma Helen]

Most of my kids text non stop.  Sometimes I tell them I forget what their voices sound like.  They claim it's easier than having to keep repeating what they say.  Hmm...  Ok, they're right.  :) 

[mercerquietman]

Drives who nuts? Those you text? I will never understand what I call extreme texting. My son is one of those. He'll literally text back and forth in a conversation. He probably uses his cell phone to talk to someone about twenty minutes a month, nineteen of which are to me. Isn't it easier to actually talk to the person? I had this theory that if Alexander Graham Bell's initial invention would have been a machine that enabled us to text other parties rather than talk to them, and a hundred years later the first cell phones also were essentially wireless text only machines, but then technology advanced to enable us to actually speak on those machines, no one would be texting nowaday as it is "old fashioned". I guess I am just showing my age, but actually talking to someone sure seems to beat the hell out of texting to me. I'll sign off now and go watch my black and white DuMont TV. :-)

[Grandma Helen]

MQM, I agree.  I like it for a quicky message, but that's it.  I prefer to hear the person's voice.  Hope you enjoy your black and white tv.  :)  Is it at least High Def?  Have a good night.