What does being single mean to you?

[blithe spirit]

Is being single a choice for you or a circumstance of life? Would you rather be in a partnership/ relationship?  How do you define being single? I imagine we may have different ideas of this term...

Just curious what you think....

[javagirl]

I was married in another lifetime, had two wonderful children and raised them (pretty much alone) into the amazing people they are today.  So, I've earned my "me" time.  That's what being single is for me.  Having my own time, my own plans, nobody to discuss what we're going to eat, where to go on vacation, how much I spent on a new lipstick or pair of boots, if we should turn left or right - whatever it is, it's mine now.  It's not that I don't want to meet someone special and have a partner, it would just need to be someone I'm in sync with. 

[Grandma Helen]

Javagirl, if only we realized we needed to be in sync when we were young.  I didn't marry until I was 27 but I still didn't see the writing on the wall for years. 

[javagirl]

I married when I was 27 too Helen!  Thought I knew it all!   oy.

(okay, so it was 3 months before I actually turned 27....)

[Grandma Helen]

I was about two months past 27.  Didn't help either.  I envy people who've been married over 40+ years.  I know some are happy, but some just won't give up, even though they aren't happy.  I can't knock it, because I stayed way longer than I should have. 

[Grandma Helen]

It's funny that you say you were too young.  It's likely you both were, but a friend of one of my sons had a child with her boyfriend at 16.  They married a few years later and now have 4 children together and are very happy.  I think it depends on a lot of different things. 

[Eaglewoman]

I was 16 when I got married the 1st time and and 28 the last time was no smarter the last time than the 1st time. My brother and his wife just celebrated their 58th anniversary in August. Don't know what their secret is. My other brother and I had been married 3 times.

[Serenity]

I tend to feel I am not good marriage material. I've buried three significant others in my life and the last relationship ended in divorce.  Now he had a massive (diabetic related) stroke. I kinda feel like my Grandma who lived to 102 and got tired of burying husbands - she used to say, "These men, they're so fragile!"  Yea, I can see that.  0__o  

The last time I dated I felt like I was being smothered. I think 15 years with the blind guy left me gasping for air. I have a roomie I've known for years. We have shared a home for 2 years.  She is like family, but without strings attached.  He would have to be a really special guy - someone who could give me time and space. I move toward relationships with all the speed of a land turtle. 

Being single can be difficult - no one to turn to about various things. Being single means not having a millstone around your neck. 

My brother and his wife have been married about 47 years. I know the secret, I just can't find the right guy to make the secret work. My sister has been married and divorced twice, married and widowed once.  (shrug)

It is possible that I have become, at this point, what is known as "emotionally unavailable."  I'm not quite sure.

[flippr 2.0]

it sucks

[Eaglewoman]

My dad always said "Its better to want someone you don't have than to have some one you don't want"

when I got divorced one of my sons got me a t-shirt that said "Its better to have loved and lost than to be stuck with a jerk"

[Grandma Helen]

Your father was a wise man.  I love your son's sense of humor.  Sounds like something one of my sons would have gottenme after I finally ditched their father.