What does being single mean to you?

[blithe spirit]

Is being single a choice for you or a circumstance of life? Would you rather be in a partnership/ relationship?  How do you define being single? I imagine we may have different ideas of this term...

Just curious what you think....

[Eaglewoman]

I have been single since 1984, my choice.After 3 rough marriages I decided I wasn't marriage material.I'm not sure they were all bad men, just bad for me.I like not having to do/and do for someone, I like making my own decisions and spending my own money the way I want.If I want popcorn for breakfast or dinner thats ok.If I want to read till 2am thats ok, if I want to get up at 5am and watch the sun rise thats ok.

[mercerquietman]

I was burned badly in my marriage. One day she just decided to go poking our auto mechanic and decided she needed to "sow her wild oats". The legal system is useless at dealing with those situations. It was amazing to me how someone can screw you over like that, then decide to take the child and dip into your pocket for child support and alimony for the next umpteen years and go after your personal assets like pensions. Yeah, they don't want you any more, but they somehow think they are entitled to your money. It is any wonder why so many older singles shy away from marriage?

I actually have truly come to enjoy singledom. I am really active. If I want to do something, buy something, go somewhere, etc. I just do it; no need to ask permission. Don't have to put up with any whining; don't have to put up with someone searching for a reason to be insulted and don't have to sooth wild imaginations over baseless jealousy. I'm not wanting for female companionship. I have a number of really good female friends (JUST friends); most are married, a couple are not. They'll come up and enjoy time at my cabin or I'll spend time over at their place for a few days or we'll just do lunch. Sometimes we'll go to Vegas together. I really don't miss marriage at all. I've learned never to say never, but my getting married again is really unlikely. My life is just fine the way it is.

[TornadoWoman]

Being single means doing what I want, where I want, when I want, how I want, with who I want, etc.!!

However, if I ever meet that "Very Special Someone,"  I would be interested in a relationship - but at my age and after being single for so long, I think I'm too self-centered to live with a man now-a-days!

[blithe spirit]

Interesting responses...our experiences have informed our definition...a little different for each.

From an early age, I never thought I would be married...I loved the idea of being independent and not being reliant on somebody else for my exsistence. For a variety of reasons, I did wind up married for a time...but was never comfortable with the whole idea.

I am quite social..have had many friendships with men and women...even lived with a few...but I prefer living by myself. I love the idea of having significant people in my life and I am fortunate to have that... however,  I do prefer my independence. 

Do you think you can have a loving caring relationshship and still be single?

[TornadoWoman]

Definitely!

[thallygal]

I definitely think that one can be in a loving relationship and not be living together.  I have been single for many years now. I have been married once, and only once.  And yes the never say never, well have learned to not do that.  I would like to have a companion to share my life with, and who knows.  I too am very active, work three days a week as therapist in community mental health center, have many friends who I adore and am content with my life as it is, just for today.  I think that is my philosophy, I cherish each and every moment of the day, not wishing for things in the future and not thinking too much about my past.  That way, life is very good.  I am not saying that I cannot plan for future events, I just have no expectations of the outcome.

Hope everyone is having a stupendous sunday filled with love and laughter.

[Leftygrl]

Like many here, I too did not expect to be single in this phase of my life . . . but I am.  And I am truly enjoying my single-hood.  But like many here too, I think it would be nice to have that special someone in my life.  But I've got many interests, several "good" friends and I'm quite happy with my life!

[thallygal]

I am a human being who changes her mind daily...

who really knows what I would do if the possibility of marriage arose....if i could have a marriage like my friends in oregon, who have been married for thirty five years yet act like newly weds,  then most definitely

[Dee Holland Eidson]

I have been widowed,divorced  and married 3 times.After thinking I had to be married to be happy I discovered I was  very wrong.It seems like I always pick the wrong ones.After 11 years of being single  ( most of the time).I really enjoy my lifestyle,However I do like the company of men a great deal. I almost got married a few months ago.It just was not meant to be.I am getting used to being on my own again.I admit I missed him a lot.My daughter who lives with me is like a best friend. We do lots of things together.I am very content with my life.

[Grandma Helen]

I've been single for almost 7 years.  I was the one that finally left.  Being single means I don't have to put up with his constant put downs.  I truly believe we are both better off apart.  He's always angry.  Was married 30 years when I left.  I no longer talk to him.  What I would like is to have someone to spend quiet time with or do things with.  Will I ever have it?  Only time will tell.   I have good friends, but it's not the same as having a SO. 

[Grandma Helen]

I wish I could say we never fought.  It only stopped because I stopped arguing back.  It's hard to call it quits, but sometimes you just have to.  I'm finally at a point where I'd be willing to get into a relationship, but marriage, I don't think so.  I guess if I fell in love, I might change my mind.  Only time will tell. 

[Julia A Knaake]

I was married for 21 years to 1st husband and he died of an illness

I was married for 9 years to my 2nd husband  and he died from an accident

I lived with a demanding overpowering man who tried to hide his bi-polar manic depressant problem for 18 years

I tried  to deal with his mental abusive ways until one night he got physically abusive so I told myself to go

of course he was not happy with that so I hid out in another state for 10 weeks while he went to jail  twice for beating up a woman....so what can I say...I am alone now but I have not given up on men...i just found me and I like me

there are not so nice men and not so nice women but on the other hand there are nice men and women