Election Central

[Bmichael]

While the big day is very close, let’s don’t forget the really important - Ranch Hand of the Year Award!

So after you’ve done your civic duty this Tuesday by casting your vote for the next President of the United States, please remember to also make your voice heard for the Armadillo.

The early/absentee results are starting to trickle in:

At press time, BNN reports that Bmichael has an extremely narrow lead over his closest competitor –

Bmichael – 692 votes

Westerly – 2 votes

*Carol T and Marilyn – statistically insignificant

 

These results are not, however without some measure of controversy. According to the election oversight committee, there seems to be a concern about the validity of the votes so far accumulated by Westerly.

An investigation is currently underway. Stay tuned for further updates.

[Bmichael]

Late Breaking News…

… … neener neener… … neener neener … …

After a fair and impartial investigation, the Armadillo Muse Ranch Election Oversight Committee in conjunction with the Bmichael Free Beer For Everyone Fellowship Party has concluded that voting irregularities have indeed, occurred and have since been adjusted accordingly.

The new totals are as follows:

Bmichael – 702 votes

Westerly – 1 vote

Carol T and Marilyn – Arrest warrants have been issued.

 

Reached at his headquarters at the main bunkhouse, candidate Bmichael had this reaction to the turn of events:

“ (sniff) Actually, Woof…I’m stunned (choke)…really shocked…and hurt, ya know (sob)? I thought I knew these folks…trusted them…loved them…well that’s all I’ve got to say at this t… … Hey!...WTF?...Whattya mean the St. Pauli Girl driver wants more money?! You tell him to get his countryass over here…”

[Westerly_2]

;^ }

[Marilyn]

After a recount, this just in:

Marilyn: 1,290

Carol T:    779

Westerly:    1 (holding her own)

Bmichael ... ZERO?

[Bmichael]

Hmm...something is rotten in Denmark...

I want to see a birth certificate!

[Westerly_2]

How is the voting going in your area? About half of us in sunny CA vote by mail-in ballot, So,no lines. Things are orderly.

[Marilyn]

I had planned to vote"early and often", but can't get to the polls until later on. I hear that NYC and parts of the Joisey shore are chaotic. Let's hope Sandy does not unduly influence this most important election ... yikes.

[Bmichael]

This Just In:

In a stunning and historical display of savvy political might, Ranch Hand of the Year Contender, Bmichael swept his three opponents for the highly coveted office on Tuesday night.

Her voice failing at times, Westerly faced her tear laden supporter and offered a variety of reasons for her shortcoming.

“First, I don’t like beer – and that’s a hindrance at the Armadillo.

Second, Bmichael is a big dork.

Third, Bmichael is a big, fat, dork.”

 

CarolT and Marilyn held a joint TV concession speech before a large group of disheartened supporters,  joining hands and shouting in unison “Bmichael…BITE US!” to a thunderous roar of applause.

Upon hearing the news of his victory, Bmichael stood at the bar at Slimmo’s in Buttup Creek and saluted his opponents for a fine effort and for running a clean race.

“They’re stinky” he said affectionately.

[Marilyn]

After a recount, this just in:

Marilyn: 1,290

Carol T:    779

Westerly:    1 (holding her own)

Bmichael ... ZERO?

After a recount, this just in:

Marilyn: 1,290

Carol T:    779

Westerly:    1 (holding her own)

Bmichael ... ZERO?

[Bmichael]

Bmichael’s Acceptance Speech…

Unity and Inclusion – Reaching Out At The Ranch.

 

Good Morning Loosers!

Sorry you had to loose, but someone had to.

What does it feel like – loosing, I mean?

I guess I’ll never know…ha ha!

Well, have to run – landslide victories always make me thirsty!

Warmest Regards,

B

[Westerly_2]

"loosers"?

[Carol T]

I believe loosers are losers who let loose with their loosely-knit imprecations.

[Bmichael]

Listen to Carol...she is very wise.