TBD on Ning

On May 30th of this year, my 54 year old brother died suddenly of a stroke. It's been five months to the day since he passed. When I think of him, I still get choked up. I'm not one to remember my dreams, but I've had three dreams about him since he left us. The first dream was very comforting. We were in a living room talking with lots of other people around, and he seemed well. My grandmother, also deceased, was there too, although she did not speak in the dream. I woke up feeling like Steve was okay. The second dream I do not remember the details of, other than to say Steve was gone and it was upsetting. Last night, I dreamt that he had gone down in a plane into the water. My mother and I waded into the water to try and find him with the hope of rescuing him, and then his body floated by face down. This was not comforting, but there's probably some meaning behind the dream. I was the one who told my mother about Steve's death back in May, a task I obviously hated doing. In the dream, I saw Steve's body first and had to turn around and tell Mom. It was heartbreaking in the dream just like it was in real life.

I miss Steve and the reality of never seeing the person that I shared my childhood with is still sinking in. So many memories only he and I had. I can never share these with him again. He was my older brother and I looked up to him. He taught me so much. But he is gone now. And the circle of life seems much more real to me. My family was small growing up, just the four of us. Mom and my stepdad are still alive and live nearby and I am blessed to have them. But I know that the circle of life keeps moving.

Death forces you to confront the hard realities of life. There are no do-overs and death is the one certainty in life. Yes, I know, make the most of your life. Yes, I know, celebrate the life of the one that's departed. I get that, but let's face it, there are days you just miss them. And that's okay. That is also just a part of life.

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Tags: Death, brothers, dreams, family


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Comment by caseyjo on September 30, 2009 at 4:13pm
My 55 year old brother died the end of June...I had only found him again after years apart...I still have him on my friends list on web sites I frequent. He had liver disease from drinking his life away although he worked and took care of himself for years the damage the alcohol did finally took over...With the death of a loved one, we don't look at their weaknesses, but their strengths......We are all only human after all....

I used to have dreams of flying, but I was scared to fly to high or to go to fast...One day in my dreams I went up high and soured all over the place...never had another flying dream..I do believe they are part of the healing process....Sorry for your loss....K
Comment by cupcake3 on September 30, 2009 at 3:23pm
Hi Uncle Spencer,
I believe that some dreams are actually not dreams but visitations from our loved ones who have passed on. The one where you saw and talked to your brother was the one that I feel was not really a dream. I believe that he wanted very much to come through and comfort you in your deep sense of grief and loss.
The other two sound more like dreams. Have you tried to google the dream dictionary and look up the meaning of a plane crash, the water, a victim face down etc? You may find that this may help you as often I have had the meanings of my dreams cleared up using this dictionary. I have several dream books at home to use, but you could also try your library if you are interested. I would not worry about the meaning of the one with the plane crash...I have a feeling it aludes to the suddeness of his passing, the harsh way that you found out and also the fact that you had the tremendously painful task of breaking the news to your mom.
You sound like a very caring person and therefore I am sure that you told your mom in the most kind ways possible that you could do, under the terribly difficult circumstances.
I lost my older sister as a child and I don't think I go one day without missing her in some way. I do take great comfort though in feeling her love for me still. I have a strong belief in life after death and know that our loved ones stay with us in spirit form.
James VanPraugh the wonderfully sensitive, kind and caring psychic medium who actually is the producer of the tv program,"Ghost Whisperer" has a very comforting book available that you may like to look at. He also has a second book out that I have not read yet. Voices from Heaven is the title of the first book, I believe. It has a picture of blue clouds on the cover.
Please feel free to look in on our Angels group here on TBD. There are some very interesting as well as helpful and uplifting discussions there.
I am deeply sorry for your loss and know that your brother misses being with you as much as you do him. Love lives on forever and in time we do all see our loved ones again!



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