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My Birthday Blog 2010
My Birthday Blog 2010
Today’s my birthday and I never really wanted to celebrate it until these past few years of fifty five of them. I hated celebrating it when I was a child, preteen, and teenager cause all my family would get together for it. That meant that for sure my sexual abuser would come for me while my Mom neglected me cause of her celebrating in her own selfish way. I remember feeling that my birthday party was for her more than me. My Dad wasn’t around much due to working a lot of overtime at his job, leaving me helpless hopeless for many of them.
Another reason for my anxiety at birthday time was compounded with seven straight years of family members dying just before my birthday causing it to be postponed or sometimes even skipped over altogether due to the scheduling of wakes and funerals during the same week of my birthday.
On my fortieth birthday my husband (at that time) threw me a surprise birthday party. It was the first one I actually celebrated. At that time my parents became snowbirds, spending the winter months down in Florida. Many of my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins were not there, giving me freedom from fear and had only true loved ones there, my husband, our children, my Mom’s younger sister and her husband, and mutual friends there. That was for me my first birthday! Making today my fifteenth birthday. My grown children chuckle when I answer there question of how old I am with, “ This is my fifteenth birthday.”. It fills my heart with much joy when I look back at the accomplishment of making sure my own children had great birthdays and stopping the cycle!
I am now hoping for many more birthdays to celebrate! I pray that all of my friends here can feel free to celebrate their’s also!
Happy NewYear everyone, may you receive blessings of love, health and prosperity in 2010!
Blessings to all, Maducks (ps I love the Beatles)
Today’s my birthday and I never really wanted to celebrate it until these past few years of fifty five of them. I hated celebrating it when I was a child, preteen, and teenager cause all my family would get together for it. That meant that for sure my sexual abuser would come for me while my Mom neglected me cause of her celebrating in her own selfish way. I remember feeling that my birthday party was for her more than me. My Dad wasn’t around much due to working a lot of overtime at his job, leaving me helpless hopeless for many of them.
Another reason for my anxiety at birthday time was compounded with seven straight years of family members dying just before my birthday causing it to be postponed or sometimes even skipped over altogether due to the scheduling of wakes and funerals during the same week of my birthday.
On my fortieth birthday my husband (at that time) threw me a surprise birthday party. It was the first one I actually celebrated. At that time my parents became snowbirds, spending the winter months down in Florida. Many of my extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins were not there, giving me freedom from fear and had only true loved ones there, my husband, our children, my Mom’s younger sister and her husband, and mutual friends there. That was for me my first birthday! Making today my fifteenth birthday. My grown children chuckle when I answer there question of how old I am with, “ This is my fifteenth birthday.”. It fills my heart with much joy when I look back at the accomplishment of making sure my own children had great birthdays and stopping the cycle!
I am now hoping for many more birthdays to celebrate! I pray that all of my friends here can feel free to celebrate their’s also!
Happy NewYear everyone, may you receive blessings of love, health and prosperity in 2010!
Blessings to all, Maducks (ps I love the Beatles)
Views: 11
Comment
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Comment by blondie 11 on January 4, 2010 at 9:05am
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May all your dreams come true. Leave the past behind you. Look to the future. Happy Birthday.
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Comment by Tina on January 3, 2010 at 7:25pm
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My Dear Friend Maducks, I am moved by your sharing openly of your survival and of the many victory's to follow, the ending of "the cycle" of horrific abuse, the beginning of your life all over again, the ability to come to a place of accepting your "new life" and the love of those "true loved ones".
I am happy for and with you Maducks and YOU GO GIRL....See I can say that to you, being that it is your 15th birthday....I hope it was GREAT and that your celebration was the best yet. Shoot lady celebrate all year, you've earned it and deserve it as well. By the way for your first Blog, You rocked it! Blessings to you !
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Comment by OCNaturalDoc on January 3, 2010 at 4:06pm
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Happy Birthday, Maducks!
Make a wish!
I wish you a year of dreams come true.
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